by art0hur0moh » Sun Sep 05, 2021 11:31 am
drum wrote:All well this end Arthur
in the middle of packing up to move into the flat downstairs
It is hard for kids when they don't have both parents, Mums left to get on with it, it's a hard struggle going it alone. I've had experience from both sides, my dad raised me till I was 8 then went to live with my Mother.. always missed my Dad but the adults back then were a bit shit. We are back to being close again. Don't blame your Mum, her own life experiences will have made her the way she is. Sometimes it takes us reaching their ages before we see their struggles rather than consumed with our own. With our own children, just try to be there when they want you, they claim they don't always need us but they do. I don't always get along well with my lot but i'm always there whatever the issue.
Hope you find something to catch your interest and you get the rest you seek.
Mum had good council. Be honest was the most consistent advice, but old skools as you say. Parents divorced when i was seven. I understood alcoholism wasn't conducive to a healthy family dynamic, so it never affected me in as detrimental a manner as my mum and sister believe. Shortly after i realised she wasn't maternal which resulted in an extreme and unusual emotional reaction which took me decades to come to terms with. Learned about the same age I was adopted, that only affect me the older I got.
I understand her reasons very well, probably better than she does herself. There is no excuse. I deserve an apology, but don't expect it to be fourth coming any time this century. She simply has no clue what she did wrong. Or maybe she knows but doesn't care, which is more consistent with her character? Decided a long time ago to just have faith even though it remains unfulfilled. She is still family and has always had the option to be involved. I no longer get upset about it, so consider it resolved as far as is possible.
Finding what catches my interests has never been an issue. Actively perusing what catches my interests with productive consistency is sum
what lacking. Hence the reason for short periodic walks. I don't want to get bored before i enjoy whatever pleasantries i am entertained by.
First time i hit rock bottom, it only took three months for me to recover and deal with everything that needed resolved. I don't think anyone even noticed the trauma. Been feeling the same way as i did through mid to late stages, this time it took years. The reason i refused to call the childrens mother ex is because i regard her as family. By that time she was the one who need the support, and for a long time after.
Then some paki on a student visa part time security in a local store makes googly eyes and she swoons. I would look out for my childrens sisters interests with as much vigour as i do my children. Saw her dad wobbling on a ladder trying to trim ivy, i gave him a loan of my ladder. It would be shit she not growing up with a dad because i was to spiteful neglecting my social responsibility.
Can't always chose family, but we can chose how to respond. Must be awesome hanging out with the grand kids. So many moments to be cherished, i didn't want to miss when children where growing. Periodically i would spend a few moments to take every detail in. I remember when son was as tall as the table, and ironing board. Did the line on the door frame thing, but that was more for them than me. I let them paint and draw on walls, (not familiar with an empire that hasn't painted or done something to their buildings) as a way to reinforce their learning and expression. Obviously i would tell them they can only do it here, other people don't like that.
A couple of years ago my daughter painted the wall black. A massive square on the wall, pitch black. Some glitter rubbed in with hand and fingers. Upon completion she declared she painted the galaxy for me.
ooph, that is quite bit there. Guess i am seriously needing a conversation?
[quote="drum"]All well this end Arthur :thumbsup: in the middle of packing up to move into the flat downstairs :mrgreen:
It is hard for kids when they don't have both parents, Mums left to get on with it, it's a hard struggle going it alone. I've had experience from both sides, my dad raised me till I was 8 then went to live with my Mother.. always missed my Dad but the adults back then were a bit shit. We are back to being close again. Don't blame your Mum, her own life experiences will have made her the way she is. Sometimes it takes us reaching their ages before we see their struggles rather than consumed with our own. With our own children, just try to be there when they want you, they claim they don't always need us but they do. I don't always get along well with my lot but i'm always there whatever the issue.
Hope you find something to catch your interest and you get the rest you seek.[/quote]
Mum had good council. Be honest was the most consistent advice, but old skools as you say. Parents divorced when i was seven. I understood alcoholism wasn't conducive to a healthy family dynamic, so it never affected me in as detrimental a manner as my mum and sister believe. Shortly after i realised she wasn't maternal which resulted in an extreme and unusual emotional reaction which took me decades to come to terms with. Learned about the same age I was adopted, that only affect me the older I got.
I understand her reasons very well, probably better than she does herself. There is no excuse. I deserve an apology, but don't expect it to be fourth coming any time this century. She simply has no clue what she did wrong. Or maybe she knows but doesn't care, which is more consistent with her character? Decided a long time ago to just have faith even though it remains unfulfilled. She is still family and has always had the option to be involved. I no longer get upset about it, so consider it resolved as far as is possible.
Finding what catches my interests has never been an issue. Actively perusing what catches my interests with productive consistency is sum :gigglesnshit: what lacking. Hence the reason for short periodic walks. I don't want to get bored before i enjoy whatever pleasantries i am entertained by.
First time i hit rock bottom, it only took three months for me to recover and deal with everything that needed resolved. I don't think anyone even noticed the trauma. Been feeling the same way as i did through mid to late stages, this time it took years. The reason i refused to call the childrens mother ex is because i regard her as family. By that time she was the one who need the support, and for a long time after.
Then some paki on a student visa part time security in a local store makes googly eyes and she swoons. I would look out for my childrens sisters interests with as much vigour as i do my children. Saw her dad wobbling on a ladder trying to trim ivy, i gave him a loan of my ladder. It would be shit she not growing up with a dad because i was to spiteful neglecting my social responsibility.
Can't always chose family, but we can chose how to respond. Must be awesome hanging out with the grand kids. So many moments to be cherished, i didn't want to miss when children where growing. Periodically i would spend a few moments to take every detail in. I remember when son was as tall as the table, and ironing board. Did the line on the door frame thing, but that was more for them than me. I let them paint and draw on walls, (not familiar with an empire that hasn't painted or done something to their buildings) as a way to reinforce their learning and expression. Obviously i would tell them they can only do it here, other people don't like that.
A couple of years ago my daughter painted the wall black. A massive square on the wall, pitch black. Some glitter rubbed in with hand and fingers. Upon completion she declared she painted the galaxy for me.
ooph, that is quite bit there. Guess i am seriously needing a conversation?