I always think it's strange how dementia affects people.
I don't have a huge amount of experience but a couple of my elderly relatives had it, an old dear my missus knew when she was a kid had it and there's our neighbour too.
In all those cases, it's seemed like the person's long-term memory was fine but it was the short-term memory that was shot to bits.
In that sort of situation, I don't think there's much danger of false accusations or other wackiness because the person retains the basic knowledge that you're a friend who's there to help. It's just the day-to-day things that they struggle with.
For example, a couple of days ago we had to go around there because the central heating was "broken".
I was shitting myself because that could be a big job and expensive.
Fortunately (I suppose), there was nothing wrong with the CH and, at a guess, I'd say she just turned it off without thinking and then said it was "broken" when she was cold.
Anyway, we went around, I got the CH going again and the missus went around doing stuff like turning on leccy fires and a leccy blanket etc.
We hung around until the radiators got warm (cos we wanted to turn all the leccy stuff off again before we left) and while we were having a cup of tea she was talking and it became obvious that she'd just completely forgotten why we were there and she was just treating it as a nice visit by friendly neighbours.
I guess you just have to grin and bear it but when you're spending anywhere between an hour and 3 hours at somebody's house,
every day for 8 months, it kinda puts a crimp in your own life.
And, as I've said, we were in a similar situation with one of the missus' old friends and after going to the local authority for help, they got involved for 18 months and then we got a bill for £9000 out of the blue, for services that had been rendered "at our request".
You feel a bit shit for doing it but we had to get a lawyer involved and eventually the bill was reduced to £4000 which we paid off in installments.
So, that doesn't actually encourage us to contact them for help again.
I feel a bit shit for acting like this but that's why I want either the son or the husband to take charge. If anybody calls in help (and gets saddled with a bill) I want it to be them rather than us.
I always think it's strange how dementia affects people.
I don't have a huge amount of experience but a couple of my elderly relatives had it, an old dear my missus knew when she was a kid had it and there's our neighbour too.
In all those cases, it's seemed like the person's long-term memory was fine but it was the short-term memory that was shot to bits.
In that sort of situation, I don't think there's much danger of false accusations or other wackiness because the person retains the basic knowledge that you're a friend who's there to help. It's just the day-to-day things that they struggle with.
For example, a couple of days ago we had to go around there because the central heating was "broken".
I was shitting myself because that could be a big job and expensive.
Fortunately (I suppose), there was nothing wrong with the CH and, at a guess, I'd say she just turned it off without thinking and then said it was "broken" when she was cold.
Anyway, we went around, I got the CH going again and the missus went around doing stuff like turning on leccy fires and a leccy blanket etc.
We hung around until the radiators got warm (cos we wanted to turn all the leccy stuff off again before we left) and while we were having a cup of tea she was talking and it became obvious that she'd just completely forgotten why we were there and she was just treating it as a nice visit by friendly neighbours.
I guess you just have to grin and bear it but when you're spending anywhere between an hour and 3 hours at somebody's house, [i]every day[/i] for 8 months, it kinda puts a crimp in your own life.
And, as I've said, we were in a similar situation with one of the missus' old friends and after going to the local authority for help, they got involved for 18 months and then we got a bill for £9000 out of the blue, for services that had been rendered "at our request". :shake head:
You feel a bit shit for doing it but we had to get a lawyer involved and eventually the bill was reduced to £4000 which we paid off in installments.
So, that doesn't actually encourage us to contact them for help again.
I feel a bit shit for acting like this but that's why I want either the son or the husband to take charge. If anybody calls in help (and gets saddled with a bill) I want it to be them rather than us. :shake head: