According to the Daily Mail, neighbours have reported ‘mass clucking noises’ coming from his home over the last five days,’ and a police raid on Tuesday led to officers finding the birds behind closed doors.
This figure could still rise further, with the editorial team at The Sun confirming that their journalists are still trying to figure out what number they can get away with.
An unnamed but definitely really real source close to our news team said, ‘It’s a disgrace.’
’While many of us are going out of our minds trying to find an open branch of KFC, Jeremy is using his militant vegetarianism as an excuse for what amounts to actual terrorism.’
’Thousands of young people’s livelihoods could be at stake as branches are forced to remain closed, and yet these are the same deluded young people who attend his rallies and sing, ‘Ohhhhhh Jeremy Corbyn.’
‘I’ve seen Diane Abbott coming and going at all hours with a giant sack of chicken feed as well.’
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