the perfect murder

A right load of bollocks...

Re: the perfect murder

Postby Keyser » Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:16 pm

Drunk Dalek wrote:
Keyser wrote:Thirty seven victims and counting so far.


Amateur :snooty:


Well I can't compete with a bloody Dalek's kill count! :snooty:
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Nucks » Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:33 pm

You guys all seem nice :ohdear:
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Lambert » Fri Apr 13, 2018 7:24 pm

The pros don't reveal their secrets :snooty:
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Goodwife » Fri Apr 13, 2018 7:28 pm

Nucks wrote:You guys all seem nice :ohdear:



Have you only just noticed :gigglesnshit:
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Keyser » Fri Apr 13, 2018 7:39 pm

Goodwife wrote:
Nucks wrote:You guys all seem nice :ohdear:



Have you only just noticed :gigglesnshit:


You are next... :wurms:
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Big Fat Frosty » Fri Apr 13, 2018 8:29 pm

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?
Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you?
They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes.
That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig."
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Cobs » Fri Apr 13, 2018 9:01 pm

Mr Wu! The urge is upon me.
Hunt out the dvd from the cellar, or bittorrent :dunno:
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Jay Jay » Fri Apr 13, 2018 9:08 pm

Throw them into a piranha pond.
Who's gonna search there?
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Guest » Fri Apr 13, 2018 9:58 pm

Big Fat Frosty wrote:You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?
Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you?
They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes.
That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig."
Image


Were you thinking of this case?

In spite of this, Arthur and Nizamodeen Hosein were convicted on the charges of blackmail, kidnap and murder at the Old Bailey on 6 October 1970.[2] Giving them life sentences, plus 25 years in Arthur's case and 15 in Nizamodeen's, the trial judge, Mr Justice Shaw, said their "conduct was cold-blooded and abominable".[5] It was never established what happened to McKay's remains, though there was speculation that the Hoseins had fed them to their pigs.[6] They served 20 years in prison.[7] Nizamodeen Hosein was deported to Trinidad after his release.[3]


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Muriel_McKay
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Dean » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:04 pm

Anything with Jp or jra as the victim would be pretty close to perfection...
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby jp761 » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:17 pm

Dean wrote:Anything with Jp or jra as the victim would be pretty close to perfection...
You absolute idiot.
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Dean » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:19 pm

jp761 wrote:
Dean wrote:Anything with Jp or jra as the victim would be pretty close to perfection...
You absolute idiot.


Am I not allowed an opinion?
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby jp761 » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:25 pm

Dean wrote:
jp761 wrote:
Dean wrote:Anything with Jp or jra as the victim would be pretty close to perfection...
You absolute idiot.


Am I not allowed an opinion?
Am I not allowed to call you an absolute idiot?
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Dean » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:26 pm

jp761 wrote:
Dean wrote:
jp761 wrote:
Dean wrote:Anything with Jp or jra as the victim would be pretty close to perfection...
You absolute idiot.


Am I not allowed an opinion?
Am I not allowed to call you're an absolute idiot?


I think you forget sometimes who you’re talking to...
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Stooo » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:27 pm

Chicken wire, bricks, icicles and a boat.
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