the perfect murder

A right load of bollocks...

Re: the perfect murder

Postby Avon Barksdale » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:28 pm

Big Fat Frosty wrote:You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?
Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you?
They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes.
That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig."


Bricktop!
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby jp761 » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:37 pm

Dean wrote:
jp761 wrote:
Dean wrote:
jp761 wrote:
Dean wrote:Anything with Jp or jra as the victim would be pretty close to perfection...
You absolute idiot.


Am I not allowed an opinion?
Am I not allowed to call you're an absolute idiot?


I think you forget sometimes who you’re talking to...
The forum clown. Who likes to talk shit all day and night long.
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby charlie » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:40 pm

The perfect murder would be on someone who least expects it.

I'm talking about, say a 'loved one' that you'd suspected of doing the 'dirty on you', but had no definitive proof until you saw him rogering Tracy round the back of Tesco Express.

The 'Key' to not letting on that you know, is to stay perfectly calm - though all the while planning how you're gonna get your revenge on the dirty miscreant!

Lead him into a false sense of security with words and actions - but as soon as his guard is completely down - chop off his bollocks Bobbitt style - but at the same time, make an 'accidental' cut across his jugular!! :yess: :cuppaT:
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Dean » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:41 pm

jp761 wrote:The forum clown. Who likes to talk shit all day and night long.


I’m glad you deleted that other post. So many errors...
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby jp761 » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:43 pm

Dean wrote:
jp761 wrote:The forum clown. Who likes to talk shit all day and night long.


I’m glad you deleted that other post. So many errors...
Like I said in it where not all as desperate as you are to talk shit all night. Some of us are doing other things.

Is this trolling lark your world?
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Frankly » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:44 pm

charlie wrote:The perfect murder would be on someone who least expects it.

I'm talking about, say a 'loved one' that you'd suspected of doing the 'dirty on you', but had no definitive proof until you saw him rogering Tracy round the back of Tesco Express.

The 'Key' to not letting on that you know, is to stay perfectly calm - though all the while planning how you're gonna get your revenge on the dirty miscreant!

Lead him into a false sense of security with words and actions - but as soon as his guard is completely down - chop off his bollocks Bobbitt style - but at the same time, make an 'accidental' cut across his jugular!! :yess: :cuppaT:



:doomed: How would you get away with it though?
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Keyser » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:44 pm

charlie wrote:The perfect murder would be on someone who least expects it.

I'm talking about, say a 'loved one' that you'd suspected of doing the 'dirty on you', but had no definitive proof until you saw him rogering Tracy round the back of Tesco Express.

The 'Key' to not letting on that you know, is to stay perfectly calm - though all the while planning how you're gonna get your revenge on the dirty miscreant!

Lead him into a false sense of security with words and actions - but as soon as his guard is completely down - chop off his bollocks Bobbitt style - but at the same time, make an 'accidental' cut across his jugular!! :yess: :cuppaT:


Yes no need to take things too far Charlie! :kinell: :pmsl:
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Dean » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:44 pm

jp761 wrote:
Dean wrote:
jp761 wrote:The forum clown. Who likes to talk shit all day and night long.


I’m glad you deleted that other post. So many errors...
Like I said in it where not all as desperate as you are to talk shit all night. Some of us are doing other things.

Is this trolling lark your world?


You could ignore me and go and post about Big Brother, yet here you are...
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Junglejayne » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:45 pm

charlie wrote:The perfect murder would be on someone who least expects it.

I'm talking about, say a 'loved one' that you'd suspected of doing the 'dirty on you', but had no definitive proof until you saw him rogering Tracy round the back of Tesco Express.

The 'Key' to not letting on that you know, is to stay perfectly calm - though all the while planning how you're gonna get your revenge on the dirty miscreant!

Lead him into a false sense of security with words and actions - but as soon as his guard is completely down - chop off his bollocks Bobbitt style - but at the same time, make an 'accidental' cut across his jugular!! :yess: :cuppaT:


:ooer: :ooer: Erm, Is this about anyone we know?
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Big Fat Frosty » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:47 pm

Avon Barksdale wrote:
Big Fat Frosty wrote:You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?
Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you?
They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes.
That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig."


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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Keyser » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:47 pm

Junglejayne wrote:
charlie wrote:The perfect murder would be on someone who least expects it.

I'm talking about, say a 'loved one' that you'd suspected of doing the 'dirty on you', but had no definitive proof until you saw him rogering Tracy round the back of Tesco Express.

The 'Key' to not letting on that you know, is to stay perfectly calm - though all the while planning how you're gonna get your revenge on the dirty miscreant!

Lead him into a false sense of security with words and actions - but as soon as his guard is completely down - chop off his bollocks Bobbitt style - but at the same time, make an 'accidental' cut across his jugular!! :yess: :cuppaT:


:ooer: :ooer: Erm, Is this about anyone we know?


I bloody hope not! :pmsl:
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Avon Barksdale » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:51 pm

Big Fat Frosty wrote:
Avon Barksdale wrote:
Big Fat Frosty wrote:You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it?
Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you?
They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes.
That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig."


Bricktop!

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:mrgreen:
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Listen, you fucking fringe, if I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I'm walking, and I'll cut your fucking Jacobs off.
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Big Fat Frosty » Fri Apr 13, 2018 10:54 pm

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Re: the perfect murder

Postby NastyNickers » Fri Apr 13, 2018 11:07 pm

Keyser wrote:
Junglejayne wrote:
charlie wrote:The perfect murder would be on someone who least expects it.

I'm talking about, say a 'loved one' that you'd suspected of doing the 'dirty on you', but had no definitive proof until you saw him rogering Tracy round the back of Tesco Express.

The 'Key' to not letting on that you know, is to stay perfectly calm - though all the while planning how you're gonna get your revenge on the dirty miscreant!

Lead him into a false sense of security with words and actions - but as soon as his guard is completely down - chop off his bollocks Bobbitt style - but at the same time, make an 'accidental' cut across his jugular!! :yess: :cuppaT:


:ooer: :ooer: Erm, Is this about anyone we know?


I bloody hope not! :pmsl:


I hope not too, ‘Key’.
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Re: the perfect murder

Postby Keyser » Fri Apr 13, 2018 11:17 pm

NastyNickers wrote:
Keyser wrote:
Junglejayne wrote:
charlie wrote:The perfect murder would be on someone who least expects it.

I'm talking about, say a 'loved one' that you'd suspected of doing the 'dirty on you', but had no definitive proof until you saw him rogering Tracy round the back of Tesco Express.

The 'Key' to not letting on that you know, is to stay perfectly calm - though all the while planning how you're gonna get your revenge on the dirty miscreant!

Lead him into a false sense of security with words and actions - but as soon as his guard is completely down - chop off his bollocks Bobbitt style - but at the same time, make an 'accidental' cut across his jugular!! :yess: :cuppaT:


:ooer: :ooer: Erm, Is this about anyone we know?


I bloody hope not! :pmsl:


I hope not too, ‘Key’. :wink:


:mrgreen:
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