how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

A right load of bollocks...

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby Kat » Thu May 17, 2018 8:52 am

Claire wrote:
Kat wrote:
Guest wrote:
Kat wrote:At a very very low point in my life besides helping ma m with her cancer treatment i was visiting dad daily in hospital i got offered a job that worked and let me carry on doing what I was doing omg the help support I've been given at work is amazing working helping people you love is better than any medicine in the market


Good for you Kat.
You talk sense too, working, getting out of the house, mixing with others and not sitting home alone contemplating why everything is wrong is your life, counting blessings and looking forwards not backwards, this all helps in getting self esteem back on track.

I would advise someone to not bottle things up, talk to a trusted friend or family member, and have a laugh. Nothing lasts forever, and that includes the bad times.

Thank you first you can let the rot set in and before you know it you don't belong to the outside world i have done a lot of changes in the 2years my dad was I'll we helped each other i also haven't had a cig in 2 years come September .going helping family getting out helped me plus I was so depressed with my last job


Im glad you're getting out of a downer Kat. It's hard when your closest family is ill.

Thank you Claire .my dad had cancer for 2 years he passed away 27th of March this year mum got diagnosed with bladder cancer last year she's had a stoma done and doing great so we have been through it .but I've kept busy working .
User avatar
Kat
 
Posts: 6019
Joined: Sat Aug 14, 2010 5:47 pm

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby Holly » Thu May 17, 2018 9:50 am

Kat wrote:
Claire wrote:
Kat wrote:
Guest wrote:
Kat wrote:At a very very low point in my life besides helping ma m with her cancer treatment i was visiting dad daily in hospital i got offered a job that worked and let me carry on doing what I was doing omg the help support I've been given at work is amazing working helping people you love is better than any medicine in the market


Good for you Kat.
You talk sense too, working, getting out of the house, mixing with others and not sitting home alone contemplating why everything is wrong is your life, counting blessings and looking forwards not backwards, this all helps in getting self esteem back on track.

I would advise someone to not bottle things up, talk to a trusted friend or family member, and have a laugh. Nothing lasts forever, and that includes the bad times.

Thank you first you can let the rot set in and before you know it you don't belong to the outside world i have done a lot of changes in the 2years my dad was I'll we helped each other i also haven't had a cig in 2 years come September .going helping family getting out helped me plus I was so depressed with my last job


Im glad you're getting out of a downer Kat. It's hard when your closest family is ill.

Thank you Claire .my dad had cancer for 2 years he passed away 27th of March this year mum got diagnosed with bladder cancer last year she's had a stoma done and doing great so we have been through it .but I've kept busy working .


Sorry about your Dad Kat xx My Mum also had bladder cancer and was fitted with a stoma, good to hear your Mum is doing great :thumbsup:
User avatar
Holly
Site Admin
 
Posts: 5225
Joined: Thu May 28, 2015 4:25 pm
Location: Middle-earth

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby Mickyboy » Thu May 17, 2018 9:59 am

Sorry to hear about your Dad Kat, my condolences x :shake head:
User avatar
Mickyboy
 
Posts: 4986
Joined: Thu Oct 22, 2009 1:45 pm

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby Kat » Thu May 17, 2018 10:30 am

Thank you micky and holly x the hardest thing for me was working on the ward dad was on but I feel comfort being there strange .but don't wanna hog thread .on a positive note I was in a right rut it's hard getting out of it I made myself go further than our little village . I would volunteer in a job in a heart beat because you are mixing with people .my ma m in law volunteer s at same hospital twice a week just showing visitors to clinics wards she took job in when dad in law died over 3 years ago .do something for nothing it gives you great comfort believe me
User avatar
Kat
 
Posts: 6019
Joined: Sat Aug 14, 2010 5:47 pm

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby Mickyboy » Thu May 17, 2018 11:35 am

Kat wrote:Thank you micky and holly x the hardest thing for me was working on the ward dad was on but I feel comfort being there strange .but don't wanna hog thread .on a positive note I was in a right rut it's hard getting out of it I made myself go further than our little village . I would volunteer in a job in a heart beat because you are mixing with people .my ma m in law volunteer s at same hospital twice a week just showing visitors to clinics wards she took job in when dad in law died over 3 years ago .do something for nothing it gives you great comfort believe me


I've thought about volunteering Kat but I'm just not sure I'd have the patience, which is to my detriment I know bcos I'm reasonably fit and able bodied still and apparently it looks great on a cv, so I might think about it again............... :dunno:
User avatar
Mickyboy
 
Posts: 4986
Joined: Thu Oct 22, 2009 1:45 pm

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby Dean » Thu May 17, 2018 11:37 am

Guest wrote:Surprised Dean and the cunts haven’t been on accusing Kat of self pity or trolling us over cancer. Seems to be the done thing these days to take the piss out of people that share this kind of thing on here.

Kat, really sorry to hear this, but some really useful points you make. I think you’re a good poster so please ignore anything Dean or the other nasties may say. God bless you.


Kat is genuine and only telling her story, not trolling like jra. You really need to learn the difference...
User avatar
Dean
 
Posts: 29496
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:02 pm

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby Kat » Thu May 17, 2018 11:49 am

Dean wrote:
Guest wrote:Surprised Dean and the cunts haven’t been on accusing Kat of self pity or trolling us over cancer. Seems to be the done thing these days to take the piss out of people that share this kind of thing on here.

Kat, really sorry to hear this, but some really useful points you make. I think you’re a good poster so please ignore anything Dean or the other nasties may say. God bless you.


Kat is genuine and only telling her story, not trolling like jra. You really need to learn the difference...

Guest I've posted along Dean for years and years sometimes I think wtf with his posts but I know Dean has a good heart and you are way off if you think he would troll me regarding my situation re this way way off
User avatar
Kat
 
Posts: 6019
Joined: Sat Aug 14, 2010 5:47 pm

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby Claire » Thu May 17, 2018 7:18 pm

Kat wrote:
Claire wrote:
Kat wrote:
Guest wrote:
Good for you Kat.
You talk sense too, working, getting out of the house, mixing with others and not sitting home alone contemplating why everything is wrong is your life, counting blessings and looking forwards not backwards, this all helps in getting self esteem back on track.

I would advise someone to not bottle things up, talk to a trusted friend or family member, and have a laugh. Nothing lasts forever, and that includes the bad times.

Thank you first you can let the rot set in and before you know it you don't belong to the outside world i have done a lot of changes in the 2years my dad was I'll we helped each other i also haven't had a cig in 2 years come September .going helping family getting out helped me plus I was so depressed with my last job


Im glad you're getting out of a downer Kat. It's hard when your closest family is ill.

Thank you Claire .my dad had cancer for 2 years he passed away 27th of March this year mum got diagnosed with bladder cancer last year she's had a stoma done and doing great so we have been through it .but I've kept busy working .


My Dad is very ill at the moment and I lost my Mum in July 2015, I left forums when she took ill. Hope you're ok. You're doing the right thing keeping busy. Hugs to you x
User avatar
Claire
 
Posts: 25894
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:04 pm

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby Claire » Thu May 17, 2018 7:19 pm

Kat wrote:Thank you micky and holly x the hardest thing for me was working on the ward dad was on but I feel comfort being there strange .but don't wanna hog thread .on a positive note I was in a right rut it's hard getting out of it I made myself go further than our little village . I would volunteer in a job in a heart beat because you are mixing with people .my ma m in law volunteer s at same hospital twice a week just showing visitors to clinics wards she took job in when dad in law died over 3 years ago .do something for nothing it gives you great comfort believe me


:wubbers:
User avatar
Claire
 
Posts: 25894
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:04 pm

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby dis » Thu May 17, 2018 7:29 pm

Claire wrote:
Kat wrote:
Claire wrote:
Kat wrote:
Guest wrote:
Good for you Kat.
You talk sense too, working, getting out of the house, mixing with others and not sitting home alone contemplating why everything is wrong is your life, counting blessings and looking forwards not backwards, this all helps in getting self esteem back on track.

I would advise someone to not bottle things up, talk to a trusted friend or family member, and have a laugh. Nothing lasts forever, and that includes the bad times.

Thank you first you can let the rot set in and before you know it you don't belong to the outside world i have done a lot of changes in the 2years my dad was I'll we helped each other i also haven't had a cig in 2 years come September .going helping family getting out helped me plus I was so depressed with my last job


Im glad you're getting out of a downer Kat. It's hard when your closest family is ill.

Thank you Claire .my dad had cancer for 2 years he passed away 27th of March this year mum got diagnosed with bladder cancer last year she's had a stoma done and doing great so we have been through it .but I've kept busy working .


My Dad is very ill at the moment and I lost my Mum in July 2015, I left forums when she took ill. Hope you're ok. You're doing the right thing keeping busy. Hugs to you x


Aw Claire, sorry for the loss and the worry you’re having about your dad. There really is nothing worse x
User avatar
dis
 
Posts: 1874
Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2015 11:29 pm

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby Claire » Thu May 17, 2018 7:33 pm

dis wrote:
Claire wrote:
Kat wrote:
Claire wrote:
Kat wrote:Thank you first you can let the rot set in and before you know it you don't belong to the outside world i have done a lot of changes in the 2years my dad was I'll we helped each other i also haven't had a cig in 2 years come September .going helping family getting out helped me plus I was so depressed with my last job


Im glad you're getting out of a downer Kat. It's hard when your closest family is ill.

Thank you Claire .my dad had cancer for 2 years he passed away 27th of March this year mum got diagnosed with bladder cancer last year she's had a stoma done and doing great so we have been through it .but I've kept busy working .


My Dad is very ill at the moment and I lost my Mum in July 2015, I left forums when she took ill. Hope you're ok. You're doing the right thing keeping busy. Hugs to you x


Aw Claire, sorry for the loss and the worry you’re having about your dad. There really is nothing worse x
Thanks Dis xx
User avatar
Claire
 
Posts: 25894
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:04 pm

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby Big Fat Frosty » Thu May 17, 2018 7:41 pm

you cant
it is there esteem to have or not...
:thumbsup:
User avatar
Big Fat Frosty
 
Posts: 17145
Joined: Tue May 17, 2011 4:51 pm

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby Kat » Thu May 17, 2018 7:52 pm

Claire sorry you lost your ma m and your dad is I'll it's hard but stay strong x :wubbers:
User avatar
Kat
 
Posts: 6019
Joined: Sat Aug 14, 2010 5:47 pm

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby Claire » Thu May 17, 2018 7:55 pm

Kat wrote:Claire sorry you lost your ma m and your dad is I'll it's hard but stay strong x :wubbers:


I will Mrs. Thank you :wubbers:
User avatar
Claire
 
Posts: 25894
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:04 pm

Re: how do you help someone get their self esteem back?

Postby Keyser » Thu May 17, 2018 8:58 pm

Avon Barksdale wrote:
Guest wrote:Apart from telling then how good they are? And telling them they have lost it?


You don't. There's been a lot of good advice on this thread (especially from Kat.)

Personally, I think this modern obsession with self esteem has become almost cult like and can bring more harm than good. It may cause people to become excessively self absorbed and emotionally self indulgent when looking outwards rather than inwards (in some instances) is what is needed.

Three thing spring to mind to help those that suffer:

1. Accept you are human and being human can bring low mood for no apparent reason. It's just part of the territory. Some days thoughts like "God, I look like a right munter" or "I'm not successful at a damn thing" or "Why does everyone have it better than me?" can fall out of the ether and into our consciousness from nowhere even though they are not demonstrably true evidentially. Know that if you are patient they will flutter off eventually leaving normality behind. So, believe it will get better and with time it will.

2. Look outward to help others in a task that inspires you and elevates them. So, do some voluntary work for a food bank in your local area, help at a homeless charity, get involved in your local community. Doing something worthy brings self worth rather than trying to think it into existence.

3. Practice daily gratitude because gratitude is the cornerstone of happiness. So, at the end of the day ask yourself what you are grateful for as that focuses your mind on positivity and thankfulness. It can be simple things like "walking in the sunshine" or "fresh bed linen and the cold side of the pillow." It is so easy to forget what you have when you are focusing on what you don't.


Best post of the week on here. :wubbers:
User avatar
Keyser
 
Posts: 11117
Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2015 7:25 pm

PreviousNext

Return to The Sleeping Dogs' Arms

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 12 guests