happy holidays

A right load of bollocks...

Re: happy holidays

Postby McAz » Thu May 24, 2018 11:38 am

Dean wrote:
Guest wrote:
Trapper John wrote:
MG2 wrote:Have a fabulous time, NN, a lovely family holiday, doesn't get much better than that.

But what about me, you selfish so and so? Who am I going to talk to now?! :bawlin:

Enjoy :wubbers:


You can talk to me but I warn you I'm a "fucking racist" and people will throw stones at you if you do.


you have sex? who da fuck would have sex with you?


Jayda Fransen?


She's already found TJ's gaff. :ooer:

Image
Last edited by McAz on Thu May 24, 2018 11:40 am, edited 2 times in total.
User avatar
McAz
 
Posts: 30451
Joined: Tue Oct 15, 2013 10:57 am

Re: happy holidays

Postby Guest » Thu May 24, 2018 11:39 am

HobbitFeet wrote:
Dean wrote:
Guest wrote:
Trapper John wrote:
MG2 wrote:Have a fabulous time, NN, a lovely family holiday, doesn't get much better than that.

But what about me, you selfish so and so? Who am I going to talk to now?! :bawlin:

Enjoy :wubbers:


You can talk to me but I warn you I'm a "fucking racist" and people will throw stones at you if you do.


you have sex? who da fuck would have sex with you?


Jayda Fransen?





:yikes:


I think Fransen has some standards. :gigglesnshit:
User avatar
Guest
 

Re: happy holidays

Postby HobbitFeet » Thu May 24, 2018 11:39 am

TJ is in the wheelie bin hiding from the immigrants

see how it's listing
User avatar
HobbitFeet
Site Admin
 
Posts: 7279
Joined: Sun Nov 20, 2011 2:29 pm

Re: happy holidays

Postby Dean » Thu May 24, 2018 11:40 am

McAz wrote:
Dean wrote:
Guest wrote:
Trapper John wrote:
MG2 wrote:Have a fabulous time, NN, a lovely family holiday, doesn't get much better than that.

But what about me, you selfish so and so? Who am I going to talk to now?! :bawlin:

Enjoy :wubbers:


You can talk to me but I warn you I'm a "fucking racist" and people will throw stones at you if you do.


you have sex? who da fuck would have sex with you?


Jayda Fransen?


She's already found TJ's gaff. :ooer:
Image


Fake news. No England flags adorning his abode!
User avatar
Dean
 
Posts: 34425
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:02 pm

Re: happy holidays

Postby McAz » Thu May 24, 2018 11:42 am

HobbitFeet wrote:TJ is in the wheelie bin hiding from the immigrants

see how it's listing


:gigglesnshit:
User avatar
McAz
 
Posts: 30451
Joined: Tue Oct 15, 2013 10:57 am

Re: happy holidays

Postby Holly » Thu May 24, 2018 11:45 am

Happy Holiday NN! :Hiya:
User avatar
Holly
Site Admin
 
Posts: 6271
Joined: Thu May 28, 2015 4:25 pm
Location: Middle-earth

Re: happy holidays

Postby Drunk Dalek » Thu May 24, 2018 3:07 pm

User avatar
Drunk Dalek
 
Posts: 775
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2015 2:54 pm

Re: happy holidays

Postby Nucks » Thu May 24, 2018 4:20 pm

jra wrote:
Avon Barksdale wrote:
jra wrote:
Avon Barksdale wrote:
jra wrote:I did say the image (that was before being clicked on) was orientated at 90 degrees (270 degrees according to the pedant maths expert here), but not necessarily on other devices. My bad.

I wish no harm on NN or her family. I hope they have a good time in Cuba and return safely.


It's obvious what you meant JRA.

Don't pay these mean people any mind.


You do wonder whether some people understand any type of humour at all and that's all it was.


I think some of your one liners are gold. This place has become far too cliquey and if your face doesn't fit you get no love no matter what you do.

Ok, gotta shoot. Client has emailed me the docs I was waiting on.

Not sorry for hijacking the thread.


Thanks Avon. Post some fucking techno will you, so I'm not block posting the thread.

My sense of humour is very Steven Wright (American comedian).

'I bought some batteries, but the batteries weren't included, so I had to buy some more batteries'.

'I bought a humidifier and a de-humidifier', put them in the same room, so they could fight it out'.

'I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add'.

'I stayed up one night playing poker with tarot cards. I got one full house and 4 people died.'

'I've got a map of the United States. It's actual size. One mile = one mile'

Paraphrased.

etc.


:gigglesnshit:

Love his humour. Another one of his: I bought a blank tape and played it full blast at home. Drove my neighbour mad. He was a mime.
User avatar
Nucks
 
Posts: 6008
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 9:59 am
Location: Behind the curtains

Re: happy holidays

Postby jra » Fri May 25, 2018 5:25 am

Nucks wrote:
jra wrote:
Avon Barksdale wrote:
jra wrote:
Avon Barksdale wrote:
It's obvious what you meant JRA.

Don't pay these mean people any mind.


You do wonder whether some people understand any type of humour at all and that's all it was.


I think some of your one liners are gold. This place has become far too cliquey and if your face doesn't fit you get no love no matter what you do.

Ok, gotta shoot. Client has emailed me the docs I was waiting on.

Not sorry for hijacking the thread.


Thanks Avon. Post some fucking techno will you, so I'm not block posting the thread.

My sense of humour is very Steven Wright (American comedian).

'I bought some batteries, but the batteries weren't included, so I had to buy some more batteries'.

'I bought a humidifier and a de-humidifier', put them in the same room, so they could fight it out'.

'I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add'.

'I stayed up one night playing poker with tarot cards. I got one full house and 4 people died.'

'I've got a map of the United States. It's actual size. One mile = one mile'

Paraphrased.

etc.


:gigglesnshit:

Love his humour. Another one of his: I bought a blank tape and played it full blast at home. Drove my neighbour mad. He was a mime.


His one liners are legendary.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

I broke a mirror in my house so I'll get 7 years, but my lawyer reckons he can get me 5.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

People have asked me if I slept well. No I didn't. I made a few mistakes.

I've never seen electricity, so that's why I don't pay for it.

Paraphrased.
User avatar
jra
 
Posts: 11888
Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2015 10:02 pm

Re: happy holidays

Postby Guest » Fri May 25, 2018 6:09 am

jra wrote:
Nucks wrote:
jra wrote:
Avon Barksdale wrote:
jra wrote:You do wonder whether some people understand any type of humour at all and that's all it was.


I think some of your one liners are gold. This place has become far too cliquey and if your face doesn't fit you get no love no matter what you do.

Ok, gotta shoot. Client has emailed me the docs I was waiting on.

Not sorry for hijacking the thread.


Thanks Avon. Post some fucking techno will you, so I'm not block posting the thread.

My sense of humour is very Steven Wright (American comedian).

'I bought some batteries, but the batteries weren't included, so I had to buy some more batteries'.

'I bought a humidifier and a de-humidifier', put them in the same room, so they could fight it out'.

'I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add'.

'I stayed up one night playing poker with tarot cards. I got one full house and 4 people died.'

'I've got a map of the United States. It's actual size. One mile = one mile'

Paraphrased.

etc.


:gigglesnshit:

Love his humour. Another one of his: I bought a blank tape and played it full blast at home. Drove my neighbour mad. He was a mime.


His one liners are legendary.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

I broke a mirror in my house so I'll get 7 years, but my lawyer reckons he can get me 5.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

People have asked me if I slept well. No I didn't. I made a few mistakes.

I've never seen electricity, so that's why I don't pay for it.

Paraphrased.


These are fantastic jra, keep 'em coming. I don't get the last one though.
User avatar
Guest
 

Re: happy holidays

Postby Nucks » Fri May 25, 2018 9:09 am

Guest wrote:
These are fantastic jra, keep 'em coming. I don't get the last one though.


Do you mean paraphrased? :gigglesnshit: If so, I imagine it was just jra not claiming to know SW’s exact quotes, relying on his memory. Can’t say I blame him, he gets picked apart for the most trivial things sometimes.
User avatar
Nucks
 
Posts: 6008
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2016 9:59 am
Location: Behind the curtains

Re: happy holidays

Postby Avon Barksdale » Fri May 25, 2018 9:54 am

jra wrote:
His one liners are legendary.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

I broke a mirror in my house so I'll get 7 years, but my lawyer reckons he can get me 5.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

People have asked me if I slept well. No I didn't. I made a few mistakes.

I've never seen electricity, so that's why I don't pay for it.

Paraphrased.


Do you like Stewart Francis (he's Canadian but let's not hold that against him.)

I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn't play any 70's music…at first I was afraid, oh I was petrified.

I'm not much of a storyteller… interesting how that all started…

I got a new job stitching shoes; it was so-so.

Did I already tell you my Alzheimer's joke?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

I read today that 10 out of 2 people are dyslectic.

Ladies, I wasn't circumcised, I was circumnavigated.

I was a trapeze artist…. but I was let go.

My uncle was crushed by a piano; his funeral was very low key.
User avatar
Avon Barksdale
 
Posts: 8143
Joined: Sat Jun 12, 2010 11:49 pm
Location: Troll Central

Re: happy holidays

Postby Comedy Central » Fri May 25, 2018 10:02 am

Avon Barksdale wrote:
jra wrote:
His one liners are legendary.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

I broke a mirror in my house so I'll get 7 years, but my lawyer reckons he can get me 5.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

People have asked me if I slept well. No I didn't. I made a few mistakes.

I've never seen electricity, so that's why I don't pay for it.

Paraphrased.


Do you like Stewart Francis (he's Canadian but let's not hold that against him.)

I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn't play any 70's music…at first I was afraid, oh I was petrified.

I'm not much of a storyteller… interesting how that all started…

I got a new job stitching shoes; it was so-so.

Did I already tell you my Alzheimer's joke?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

I read today that 10 out of 2 people are dyslectic.

Ladies, I wasn't circumcised, I was circumnavigated.

I was a trapeze artist…. but I was let go.

My uncle was crushed by a piano; his funeral was very low key.

:shame:
User avatar
Comedy Central
 

Re: happy holidays

Postby Avon Barksdale » Fri May 25, 2018 10:10 am

Comedy Central wrote:
Avon Barksdale wrote:
jra wrote:
His one liners are legendary.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

I broke a mirror in my house so I'll get 7 years, but my lawyer reckons he can get me 5.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

People have asked me if I slept well. No I didn't. I made a few mistakes.

I've never seen electricity, so that's why I don't pay for it.

Paraphrased.


Do you like Stewart Francis (he's Canadian but let's not hold that against him.)

I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn't play any 70's music…at first I was afraid, oh I was petrified.

I'm not much of a storyteller… interesting how that all started…

I got a new job stitching shoes; it was so-so.

Did I already tell you my Alzheimer's joke?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

I read today that 10 out of 2 people are dyslectic.

Ladies, I wasn't circumcised, I was circumnavigated.

I was a trapeze artist…. but I was let go.

My uncle was crushed by a piano; his funeral was very low key.

:shame:


Thanks for your contribution Guest.
User avatar
Avon Barksdale
 
Posts: 8143
Joined: Sat Jun 12, 2010 11:49 pm
Location: Troll Central

Re: happy holidays

Postby Comedy gold » Fri May 25, 2018 10:13 am

No worries sweetie
User avatar
Comedy gold
 

PreviousNext

Return to The Sleeping Dogs' Arms

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests