jokes thread

A right load of bollocks...

Re: jokes thread

Postby budgie not logged in » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:15 pm

did you hear the joke about the gay Australian sailor?

He enjoyed steaming into Sydney...
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Re: jokes thread

Postby Honest Guesty » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:19 pm

What's the difference between a Soya Bean and a Vibrator?


Nothing at all. They're both a substitute for meat. :mrgreen:
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Re: jokes thread

Postby Nucks » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:33 pm

Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out, man.
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Re: jokes thread

Postby Avon Barksdale » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:33 pm

I was in the park the other day wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets...and then it hit me.
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Re: jokes thread

Postby Avon Barksdale » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:40 pm

I was going to do a joke about time travel.

But I knew you wouldn't like it.
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Re: jokes thread

Postby budgie not logged in » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:44 pm

I always feel sad when I think of my grandad; he died in a concentration camp...

He fell out the machine gun tower.
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Re: jokes thread

Postby Drunk Dalek » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:44 pm

I used to be into bondage, necrophillia and beastiallity. I gave it up when I realised I was flogging a dead horse.
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Re: jokes thread

Postby Drunk Dalek » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:47 pm

How do you make a skeleton?

Put a leper in a wind tunnel
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Re: jokes thread

Postby Jem » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:51 pm

Drunk Dalek wrote:How do you make a skeleton?

Put a leper in a wind tunnel

:mrgreen:
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Re: jokes thread

Postby Avon Barksdale » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:52 pm

I couldn't be gay. I just don't have it in me.
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Re: jokes thread

Postby McAz » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:53 pm

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?

Fucking big holes in Australia.
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Re: jokes thread

Postby Avon Barksdale » Tue Jun 12, 2018 8:18 pm

About a month before he died we rubbed lard into my granddad's back to try and make him feel better.

He went rapidly downhill after that...
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Re: jokes thread

Postby dis » Tue Jun 12, 2018 8:19 pm

Avon Barksdale wrote:About a month before he died we rubbed lard into my granddad's back to try and make him feel better.

He went rapidly downhill after that...


I liked that one.
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Re: jokes thread

Postby Nucks » Tue Jun 12, 2018 8:22 pm

Q. What did Tarzan say when the Elephants charged?
A. Watch out, here come the Elephants

Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: "Look, a herd of elephants in the distance"

Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses
A: Nothing. He doesn't recognize them.

Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of giraffes in the distance?
A: "Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"
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Re: jokes thread

Postby Drunk Dalek » Tue Jun 12, 2018 8:46 pm

Q: Why do they call it Pre-Menstrual Tension?

A: Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
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