Dear Doggies

A right load of bollocks...

Re: Dear Doggies

Postby dis » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:10 pm

Trapper John wrote:Several years ago I bought my grandson one of those little xylophones with the coloured wooden key blocks and the two little wooden clonker sticks with ball ends.

Anyway, it kept finding it's way back to my house in his bag every time he stayed with me because it drove his mum and dad mad, so I ended up hiding it coz it drove me nuts as well.

So I found it the other day and thought I can give this to my granddaughter even though she's only 8 months old, partly as an act of revenge.

On Sunday I presented it to her without anyone knowing and she started banging away on it to my great amusement. After a small row with my daughter who said she was too young for it saying she could poke herself in the eye with the sticks and pointing out the box said 'for 3 years and up', I won out because baby and I were having so much fun with it.

That was until she went for an unexpected bash on the keys and the sharp end of the stick went right into my eye before I had a chance to even blink my eyes closed, the pain was excruciating.

Now my sight is a bit blurred sometimes and my eye feels like it has grit in it all the time, it waters constantly and it sort of aches too. I've tried optrex and that hurts even more.

I reckon it's scratched my eyeball, will it heal itself or should I see someone? it's still a bit bloodshot but it feels a little better today.


:pmsl: Sorry, but that's what you get.

I think you need to get yourself some drops for it, you might have scratched it and it can get infected. Something similar happened to my dad but it was a lolly pop stick, he got drops.
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Re: Dear Doggies

Postby dis » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:11 pm

banana chewits wrote:
NastyNickers wrote:
dis wrote:
NastyNickers wrote:On my head.

My arse is hairless I’ll have you know. :snooty:

Do pubes go grey?


:mrgreen:

Did you haul it out? I've only got 1 or 2, my wee sister spied one on my head the other day and hauled it clean oot. Viciously. :grrrrr: She's got loads, if she didn't dye it she'd be put white. She's no old, she's just had them since she was about 18.

I don't know about elderly pubes, I would imagine they do, like ear hair.

not that I have got ear hair.


I’ve always wondered which part of the ear grows the hair. Is it like out the hole, or just around it. Like ear pubes. Or hairy noses, they grow out the hole.


some noses grow hair on the outside, too.


Neh eh.

I've never seen that.
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Re: Dear Doggies

Postby Stooo » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:13 pm

Trapper John wrote:Several years ago I bought my grandson one of those little xylophones with the coloured wooden key blocks and the two little wooden clonker sticks with ball ends.

Anyway, it kept finding it's way back to my house in his bag every time he stayed with me because it drove his mum and dad mad, so I ended up hiding it coz it drove me nuts as well.

So I found it the other day and thought I can give this to my granddaughter even though she's only 8 months old, partly as an act of revenge.

On Sunday I presented it to her without anyone knowing and she started banging away on it to my great amusement. After a small row with my daughter who said she was too young for it saying she could poke herself in the eye with the sticks and pointing out the box said 'for 3 years and up', I won out because baby and I were having so much fun with it.

That was until she went for an unexpected bash on the keys and the sharp end of the stick went right into my eye before I had a chance to even blink my eyes closed, the pain was excruciating.

Now my sight is a bit blurred sometimes and my eye feels like it has grit in it all the time, it waters constantly and it sort of aches too. I've tried optrex and that hurts even more.

I reckon it's scratched my eyeball, will it heal itself or should I see someone? it's still a bit bloodshot but it feels a little better today.


You were told, the correct response is 'you served yourself right'...
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Re: Dear Doggies

Postby banana chewits » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:14 pm

dis wrote:Neh eh.

I've never seen that.


i've seen it with my own eyes.
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Re: Dear Doggies

Postby Dean » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:16 pm

Trapper John wrote:Several years ago I bought my grandson one of those little xylophones with the coloured wooden key blocks and the two little wooden clonker sticks with ball ends.

Anyway, it kept finding it's way back to my house in his bag every time he stayed with me because it drove his mum and dad mad, so I ended up hiding it coz it drove me nuts as well.

So I found it the other day and thought I can give this to my granddaughter even though she's only 8 months old, partly as an act of revenge.

On Sunday I presented it to her without anyone knowing and she started banging away on it to my great amusement. After a small row with my daughter who said she was too young for it saying she could poke herself in the eye with the sticks and pointing out the box said 'for 3 years and up', I won out because baby and I were having so much fun with it.

That was until she went for an unexpected bash on the keys and the sharp end of the stick went right into my eye before I had a chance to even blink my eyes closed, the pain was excruciating.

Now my sight is a bit blurred sometimes and my eye feels like it has grit in it all the time, it waters constantly and it sort of aches too. I've tried optrex and that hurts even more.

I reckon it's scratched my eyeball, will it heal itself or should I see someone? it's still a bit bloodshot but it feels a little better today.


It’s useless now mate. Scoop it out with a spoon. I suppose the baby could use it as a marble...
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Re: Dear Doggies

Postby banana chewits » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:17 pm

Trapper John wrote:Several years ago I bought my grandson one of those little xylophones with the coloured wooden key blocks and the two little wooden clonker sticks with ball ends.

Anyway, it kept finding it's way back to my house in his bag every time he stayed with me because it drove his mum and dad mad, so I ended up hiding it coz it drove me nuts as well.

So I found it the other day and thought I can give this to my granddaughter even though she's only 8 months old, partly as an act of revenge.

On Sunday I presented it to her without anyone knowing and she started banging away on it to my great amusement. After a small row with my daughter who said she was too young for it saying she could poke herself in the eye with the sticks and pointing out the box said 'for 3 years and up', I won out because baby and I were having so much fun with it.

That was until she went for an unexpected bash on the keys and the sharp end of the stick went right into my eye before I had a chance to even blink my eyes closed, the pain was excruciating.

Now my sight is a bit blurred sometimes and my eye feels like it has grit in it all the time, it waters constantly and it sort of aches too. I've tried optrex and that hurts even more.

I reckon it's scratched my eyeball, will it heal itself or should I see someone? it's still a bit bloodshot but it feels a little better today.


make yourself an eye bath with neat vodka & salt, just in case there's an infection.
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Re: Dear Doggies

Postby Trapper John » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:22 pm

banana chewits wrote:
Trapper John wrote:Several years ago I bought my grandson one of those little xylophones with the coloured wooden key blocks and the two little wooden clonker sticks with ball ends.

Anyway, it kept finding it's way back to my house in his bag every time he stayed with me because it drove his mum and dad mad, so I ended up hiding it coz it drove me nuts as well.

So I found it the other day and thought I can give this to my granddaughter even though she's only 8 months old, partly as an act of revenge.

On Sunday I presented it to her without anyone knowing and she started banging away on it to my great amusement. After a small row with my daughter who said she was too young for it saying she could poke herself in the eye with the sticks and pointing out the box said 'for 3 years and up', I won out because baby and I were having so much fun with it.

That was until she went for an unexpected bash on the keys and the sharp end of the stick went right into my eye before I had a chance to even blink my eyes closed, the pain was excruciating.

Now my sight is a bit blurred sometimes and my eye feels like it has grit in it all the time, it waters constantly and it sort of aches too. I've tried optrex and that hurts even more.

I reckon it's scratched my eyeball, will it heal itself or should I see someone? it's still a bit bloodshot but it feels a little better today.


make yourself an eye bath with neat vodka & salt, just in case there's an infection.


What so I can get back to you and tell you how successful it was after I've stopped screaming in agony? I'd rather do what Dean said and scoop it out with a spoon.
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Re: Dear Doggies

Postby banana chewits » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:25 pm

Trapper John wrote:
banana chewits wrote:
Trapper John wrote:Several years ago I bought my grandson one of those little xylophones with the coloured wooden key blocks and the two little wooden clonker sticks with ball ends.

Anyway, it kept finding it's way back to my house in his bag every time he stayed with me because it drove his mum and dad mad, so I ended up hiding it coz it drove me nuts as well.

So I found it the other day and thought I can give this to my granddaughter even though she's only 8 months old, partly as an act of revenge.

On Sunday I presented it to her without anyone knowing and she started banging away on it to my great amusement. After a small row with my daughter who said she was too young for it saying she could poke herself in the eye with the sticks and pointing out the box said 'for 3 years and up', I won out because baby and I were having so much fun with it.

That was until she went for an unexpected bash on the keys and the sharp end of the stick went right into my eye before I had a chance to even blink my eyes closed, the pain was excruciating.

Now my sight is a bit blurred sometimes and my eye feels like it has grit in it all the time, it waters constantly and it sort of aches too. I've tried optrex and that hurts even more.

I reckon it's scratched my eyeball, will it heal itself or should I see someone? it's still a bit bloodshot but it feels a little better today.


make yourself an eye bath with neat vodka & salt, just in case there's an infection.


What so I can get back to you and tell you how successful it was after I've stopped screaming in agony? I'd rather do what Dean said and scoop it out with a spoon.


it probably would kill an infection though, we'd both be winners.
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Re: Dear Doggies

Postby Vam » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:30 pm

@ Traps...maybe you need a 'scrip for some antibiotic eye drops. Just to be safe?
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Re: Dear Doggies

Postby Trapper John » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:36 pm

Vam wrote:@ Traps...maybe you need a 'scrip for some antibiotic eye drops. Just to be safe?


I might do If I wake up in the morning looking like Patrick Moore did.
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Re: Dear Doggies

Postby Avon Barksdale » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:37 pm

Trapper John wrote:Several years ago I bought my grandson one of those little xylophones with the coloured wooden key blocks and the two little wooden clonker sticks with ball ends.

Anyway, it kept finding it's way back to my house in his bag every time he stayed with me because it drove his mum and dad mad, so I ended up hiding it coz it drove me nuts as well.

So I found it the other day and thought I can give this to my granddaughter even though she's only 8 months old, partly as an act of revenge.

On Sunday I presented it to her without anyone knowing and she started banging away on it to my great amusement. After a small row with my daughter who said she was too young for it saying she could poke herself in the eye with the sticks and pointing out the box said 'for 3 years and up', I won out because baby and I were having so much fun with it.

That was until she went for an unexpected bash on the keys and the sharp end of the stick went right into my eye before I had a chance to even blink my eyes closed, the pain was excruciating.

Now my sight is a bit blurred sometimes and my eye feels like it has grit in it all the time, it waters constantly and it sort of aches too. I've tried optrex and that hurts even more.

I reckon it's scratched my eyeball, will it heal itself or should I see someone? it's still a bit bloodshot but it feels a little better today.


I hear there's a number you can ring to get medical advice rather than asking random idiots on the internet.

Apparently it's free as well.

Could be an urban legend though.
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Re: Dear Doggies

Postby dis » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:37 pm

Trapper John wrote:
Vam wrote:@ Traps...maybe you need a 'scrip for some antibiotic eye drops. Just to be safe?


I might do If I wake up in the morning looking like Patrick Moore did.


If it feel like grit it sounds like it's scratched, you should go to the optician. They can give you some.
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Re: Dear Doggies

Postby banana chewits » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:38 pm

Avon Barksdale wrote:
Trapper John wrote:Several years ago I bought my grandson one of those little xylophones with the coloured wooden key blocks and the two little wooden clonker sticks with ball ends.

Anyway, it kept finding it's way back to my house in his bag every time he stayed with me because it drove his mum and dad mad, so I ended up hiding it coz it drove me nuts as well.

So I found it the other day and thought I can give this to my granddaughter even though she's only 8 months old, partly as an act of revenge.

On Sunday I presented it to her without anyone knowing and she started banging away on it to my great amusement. After a small row with my daughter who said she was too young for it saying she could poke herself in the eye with the sticks and pointing out the box said 'for 3 years and up', I won out because baby and I were having so much fun with it.

That was until she went for an unexpected bash on the keys and the sharp end of the stick went right into my eye before I had a chance to even blink my eyes closed, the pain was excruciating.

Now my sight is a bit blurred sometimes and my eye feels like it has grit in it all the time, it waters constantly and it sort of aches too. I've tried optrex and that hurts even more.

I reckon it's scratched my eyeball, will it heal itself or should I see someone? it's still a bit bloodshot but it feels a little better today.


I hear there's a number you can ring to get medical advice rather than asking random idiots on the internet.

Apparently it's free as well.

Could be an urban legend though.


are you calling me random?
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Re: Dear Doggies

Postby Avon Barksdale » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:39 pm

banana chewits wrote:
Avon Barksdale wrote:
Trapper John wrote:Several years ago I bought my grandson one of those little xylophones with the coloured wooden key blocks and the two little wooden clonker sticks with ball ends.

Anyway, it kept finding it's way back to my house in his bag every time he stayed with me because it drove his mum and dad mad, so I ended up hiding it coz it drove me nuts as well.

So I found it the other day and thought I can give this to my granddaughter even though she's only 8 months old, partly as an act of revenge.

On Sunday I presented it to her without anyone knowing and she started banging away on it to my great amusement. After a small row with my daughter who said she was too young for it saying she could poke herself in the eye with the sticks and pointing out the box said 'for 3 years and up', I won out because baby and I were having so much fun with it.

That was until she went for an unexpected bash on the keys and the sharp end of the stick went right into my eye before I had a chance to even blink my eyes closed, the pain was excruciating.

Now my sight is a bit blurred sometimes and my eye feels like it has grit in it all the time, it waters constantly and it sort of aches too. I've tried optrex and that hurts even more.

I reckon it's scratched my eyeball, will it heal itself or should I see someone? it's still a bit bloodshot but it feels a little better today.


I hear there's a number you can ring to get medical advice rather than asking random idiots on the internet.

Apparently it's free as well.

Could be an urban legend though.


are you calling me random?


I'm not calling you.

I'm not that type of guy.
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Re: Dear Doggies

Postby banana chewits » Wed Jun 13, 2018 5:40 pm

Avon Barksdale wrote:
banana chewits wrote:
Avon Barksdale wrote:
I hear there's a number you can ring to get medical advice rather than asking random idiots on the internet.

Apparently it's free as well.

Could be an urban legend though.


are you calling me random?


I'm not calling you.

I'm not that type of guy.


that was pretty good, for a wednesday.
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