Waiting for parcel

A right load of bollocks...

Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby Guest » Thu Aug 16, 2018 2:18 pm

Dean wrote:Don’t fret Lucy, your Penis pumpatron 3000 will soon be with you...





I hope you cleaned it well before you sold it on Ebay Dean, Must of been annoying for you that it didn't work.
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Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby Dean » Thu Aug 16, 2018 2:33 pm

Guest wrote:
Dean wrote:Don’t fret Lucy, your Penis pumpatron 3000 will soon be with you...





I hope you cleaned it well before you sold it on Ebay Dean, Must of been annoying for you that it didn't work.


Small dick joke. Hilarious...
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Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby LordRaven » Thu Aug 16, 2018 2:41 pm

BUDGIE wrote:
Dean wrote:Don’t fret Lucy, your Penis pumpatron 3000 will soon be with you...


It'll be a "real life" fleshlight that sex case has bought..

Feels like a real fanny... Four adjustable tightness levels from "virgin" right through to "fanny like a building site chute"

He's one for the watching....


The diameters range from Ciagarette Holder to Front Doors Of The Albert Hall to cater for all girths
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Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby Guest » Thu Aug 16, 2018 2:43 pm

Dean wrote:
Guest wrote:
Dean wrote:Don’t fret Lucy, your Penis pumpatron 3000 will soon be with you...





I hope you cleaned it well before you sold it on Ebay Dean, Must of been annoying for you that it didn't work.


Small dick joke. Hilarious...


Your pumpatron 3000 joke you mean?
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Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby Guest » Thu Aug 16, 2018 2:58 pm

Dean wrote:
Guest wrote:
Dean wrote:Don’t fret Lucy, your Penis pumpatron 3000 will soon be with you...





I hope you cleaned it well before you sold it on Ebay Dean, Must of been annoying for you that it didn't work.


Small dick joke. Hilarious...





Funnier than limp attempt Dean.
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Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby LordRaven » Thu Aug 16, 2018 3:00 pm

Gabby wrote:
LordRaven wrote:
Gabby wrote:I’ll be waiting for a delivery of booze and mixers on Saturday night..... worth the £3 delivery not to hump it all home myself! :canny:


Cocktail night?


Gin tasting! :leer:..... just got to order some cherry blossom tonics from a stockist too :Wiiiine!:


Gin is seeing a bit of resurgence these days, which is odd really...


Mother’s Ruin
by Ellen Castelow
In the mid-eighteenth century the effects of gin-drinking on English society makes the use of drugs today seem almost benign!
Gin started out as a medicine – it was thought it could be a cure for gout and indigestion, but most attractive of all, it was cheap.
In the 1730’s notices could be seen all over London. The message was short and to the point
‘Drunk for 1 penny, Dead drunk for tuppence, Straw for nothing’!!
In London alone, there were more than 7,000 ‘dram shops’, and 10 million gallons of gin were being distilled annually in the capital
Gin was hawked by barbers, pedlars, and grocers and even sold on market-stalls.
Gin had become the poor man’s drink as it was cheap, and some workers were given gin as part of their wages. Duty paid on gin was 2 pence a gallon, as opposed to 4 shillings and nine pence on strong beer.
The average person could not afford French wines or brandy, so gin took over as the cheapest, and most easily obtained, strong liquor.
Gin rendered men impotent, and women sterile, and was a major reason why the birth rate in London at this time was exceeded by the death rate.
The government of the day became alarmed when it was found that the average Londoner drank 14 gallons of spirit each year!
The government decided that the tax must be raised on gin, but this put many reputable sellers out of business, and made way for the ‘bootleggers’ who sold their wares under such fancy names as Cuckold’s Comfort, Ladies Delight and Knock Me Down.
Overnight, gin sales went underground! Dealers, pushers and runners sold their illegal ‘hooch’ in what became a Black Market.
Much of the gin was drunk by women, consequently the children were neglected, daughters were sold into prostitution, and wet nurses gave gin to babies to quieten them. This worked provided they were given a large enough dose!
People would do anything to get gin…a cattle drover sold his eleven-year-old daughter to a trader for a gallon of gin, and a coachman pawned his wife for a quart bottle.

Gin was the opium of the people, it led them to the debtors’ prison or the gallows, ruined them, drove them to madness, suicide and death, but it kept them warm in winter, and allayed the terrible hunger pangs of the poorest.
In 1736 a Gin Act was passed which forbade anyone to sell ‘Distilled spirituous liquor’ without first taking out a licence costing £50.
On the last night, as the last gallons of gin were sold off cheaply by the retailers who could not afford the duty, more alcohol was drunk than ever before or since.
The authorities believed there would be trouble the following day but nothing happened. The mob lay insensible in the streets, too drunk to know or care.

In the seven years following 1736, only three £50 licences were taken out, yet the gallons of gin kept coming.
The thirst for gin appeared insatiable. People sold their furnishings and even their homes to get money to buy their favourite tipple.

https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/Mothers-Ruin/
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Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby BUDGIE » Thu Aug 16, 2018 3:14 pm

TL:DR
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Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby Keyser » Thu Aug 16, 2018 3:16 pm

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Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby Stooo » Thu Aug 16, 2018 3:33 pm

LordRaven wrote:
Gabby wrote:
LordRaven wrote:
Gabby wrote:I’ll be waiting for a delivery of booze and mixers on Saturday night..... worth the £3 delivery not to hump it all home myself! :canny:


Cocktail night?


Gin tasting! :leer:..... just got to order some cherry blossom tonics from a stockist too :Wiiiine!:


Gin is seeing a bit of resurgence these days, which is odd really...


Mother’s Ruin
by Ellen Castelow
In the mid-eighteenth century the effects of gin-drinking on English society makes the use of drugs today seem almost benign!
Gin started out as a medicine – it was thought it could be a cure for gout and indigestion, but most attractive of all, it was cheap.
In the 1730’s notices could be seen all over London. The message was short and to the point
‘Drunk for 1 penny, Dead drunk for tuppence, Straw for nothing’!!
In London alone, there were more than 7,000 ‘dram shops’, and 10 million gallons of gin were being distilled annually in the capital
Gin was hawked by barbers, pedlars, and grocers and even sold on market-stalls.
Gin had become the poor man’s drink as it was cheap, and some workers were given gin as part of their wages. Duty paid on gin was 2 pence a gallon, as opposed to 4 shillings and nine pence on strong beer.
The average person could not afford French wines or brandy, so gin took over as the cheapest, and most easily obtained, strong liquor.
Gin rendered men impotent, and women sterile, and was a major reason why the birth rate in London at this time was exceeded by the death rate.
The government of the day became alarmed when it was found that the average Londoner drank 14 gallons of spirit each year!
The government decided that the tax must be raised on gin, but this put many reputable sellers out of business, and made way for the ‘bootleggers’ who sold their wares under such fancy names as Cuckold’s Comfort, Ladies Delight and Knock Me Down.
Overnight, gin sales went underground! Dealers, pushers and runners sold their illegal ‘hooch’ in what became a Black Market.
Much of the gin was drunk by women, consequently the children were neglected, daughters were sold into prostitution, and wet nurses gave gin to babies to quieten them. This worked provided they were given a large enough dose!
People would do anything to get gin…a cattle drover sold his eleven-year-old daughter to a trader for a gallon of gin, and a coachman pawned his wife for a quart bottle.

Gin was the opium of the people, it led them to the debtors’ prison or the gallows, ruined them, drove them to madness, suicide and death, but it kept them warm in winter, and allayed the terrible hunger pangs of the poorest.
In 1736 a Gin Act was passed which forbade anyone to sell ‘Distilled spirituous liquor’ without first taking out a licence costing £50.
On the last night, as the last gallons of gin were sold off cheaply by the retailers who could not afford the duty, more alcohol was drunk than ever before or since.
The authorities believed there would be trouble the following day but nothing happened. The mob lay insensible in the streets, too drunk to know or care.

In the seven years following 1736, only three £50 licences were taken out, yet the gallons of gin kept coming.
The thirst for gin appeared insatiable. People sold their furnishings and even their homes to get money to buy their favourite tipple.

https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/Mothers-Ruin/


Dutch import, it's where the term 'Dutch courage' comes from. Brave juice...
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Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby Stooo » Thu Aug 16, 2018 3:35 pm

Keyser wrote:http://viz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/026-027_viz172_parcel.jpg


Or just be fucking in when you order a next day delivery.
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Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby Guest » Thu Aug 16, 2018 3:56 pm

BUDGIE wrote:
Dean wrote:Don’t fret Lucy, your Penis pumpatron 3000 will soon be with you...


It'll be a "real life" fleshlight that sex case has bought..

Feels like a real fanny... Four adjustable tightness levels from "virgin" right through to "fanny like a building site chute"

He's one for the watching....


It appears to me that you seem to know the pumpatron rather well. Can't you get real fanny, you fanny? :gigglesnshit:
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Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby Guest » Thu Aug 16, 2018 4:11 pm

Stooo wrote:
Keyser wrote:http://viz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/026-027_viz172_parcel.jpg


Or just be fucking in when you order a next day delivery.


Looks like you have an "admirer" :wink:

Parcel delivery people,
https://forums.digitalspy.com/discussio ... ery-people
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Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby Drunk Dalek » Thu Aug 16, 2018 4:41 pm

My DPD delivery was an hour late yesterday. Fair play the van had blown a head gasket so I'm surprised it was only an hour late. He rang his depot to tell them and their answer was "prove it" Tossers :hand:
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Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby Stooo » Thu Aug 16, 2018 4:45 pm

Drunk Dalek wrote:My DPD delivery was an hour late yesterday. Fair play the van had blown a head gasket so I'm surprised it was only an hour late. He rang his depot to tell them and their answer was "prove it" Tossers :hand:


Their depot's on Woodlands, they could have walked it to you... :snooty:
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Re: Waiting for parcel

Postby Drunk Dalek » Thu Aug 16, 2018 4:55 pm

Stooo wrote:
Drunk Dalek wrote:My DPD delivery was an hour late yesterday. Fair play the van had blown a head gasket so I'm surprised it was only an hour late. He rang his depot to tell them and their answer was "prove it" Tossers :hand:


Their depot's on Woodlands, they could have walked it to you... :snooty:


Yeah but my parcel was in the van.....in Cannington :ooer:
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