Men

A right load of bollocks...

Re: Men

Postby Holly » Tue Oct 20, 2020 9:42 am

HobbitFeet wrote:
.SF. wrote:
Holly wrote:
.SF. wrote:It's not gender-specific.



What do you mean? Depression and mental health? Of course it isn't but this thread is about the men species. I was just watching a program about men's mental health and they said men are more prone to suicide than women.


That is probably misleading - a bit of research will reveal that women attempt suicide more frequently than men, but with a lower rate of success due to typical methods used.



why are you arguing the toss about everything that Holly says?

all you are doing is detracting from the issue of men that feel they are expected to suffer in silence

talk about a fucking own goal :roll:


Thanks Hobbs, it is a rather important issue and it would be a shame to have this thread already tainted by disagreements so early in.
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Re: Men

Postby guest » Tue Oct 20, 2020 9:45 am

I worked in a GP surgery up until December last year, in 2019 I was getting ant least one call a week from males of all ages saying they felt depressed or suicidal one man actually did kill himself and another tried twice jumping off a bridge.

I hardly got any calls from women wanting to harm themselves, the males ranged from teenagers to mid thrities to seventies of all types of background.

I mentioned it to the practice manager and a doctor and said it was affecting me listening to them but as usual it was they just another patient, I asked if patients ringing up saying this would be picked up as a warning by the computer system but they said it wouldn't.

I even had a 20 minute chat in the pouring rain at a bus stop with the man who jumped off a bridge who was in tears and on his way to the crisis team trying to help him.

The depression in men is a time bomb which has been ignored by a feminist supporting media and covid, when covid fades the reality of what other illnesses we have ignored will make covid look like a paper cut.
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Re: Men

Postby ArchieG » Tue Oct 20, 2020 9:48 am

I’m male, middle aged, have suffered with depression, suicidal thoughts, brought on by relationship breakdown and homelessness, and I would absolutely never discuss it with anyone face to face. I say it here anonymously.
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Re: Men

Postby Toke 'n' gesture » Tue Oct 20, 2020 9:52 am

Holly wrote:
Toke 'n' gesture wrote:
.SF. wrote:
Holly wrote:
.SF. wrote:It's not gender-specific.



What do you mean? Depression and mental health? Of course it isn't but this thread is about the men species. I was just watching a program about men's mental health and they said men are more prone to suicide than women.


That is probably misleading - a bit of research will reveal that women attempt suicide more frequently than men, but with a lower rate of success due to typical methods used.



Although it's true what you say, this thread isn't about who attempts it the most, it's about male depression and suicide, which is higher than in the female population, no matter the 'success' rate of the attempts.


In countries around the world, women are more likely to be diagnosed with depression and to attempt suicide. So why is the male suicide rate still several times higher than female?


https://www.bbc.com/future/article/2019 ... than-women

My cousin (male) committed suicide about 20 years ago, we were still teenagers then and very close. We grew up together, he was such a fantastic person. I had no idea he was suffering, he never told anyone. Then one day out of the blue my mum had a phone call to tell us he'd died by suicide. I was devastated, bereft. It brought on a depression of it's own and i found it hard to get past for a long time.

Talking really does help though, and i did lots of it at the time. My mum made sure of it actually. I can't say i've ever really suffered since then though, so i guess i'm quite lucky.


Thank you

It's especially tragic when young people take their life, I wonder why?... has the world become too demanding? Is there really so much pressure that they think life isn't worth living? ...but getting back to males, most women know that trying to get a male talking to you about their feelings is like trying to get blood out of a stone, and that needs to change, the stigma of being seen as weak needs to be addressed a lot more, boys should be taught in school about the importance of opening up.



I just think that some young boys go so far into themselves that it's impossible to get them to talk. My cousin and myself were brought up by two strong women, sisters, who always made it their priority to get us talking, except no one knew how he was suffering. He always spoke to his parents about anything and everything, but obviously not the important things that were making him depressed.

I agree about schools too, it should be on the curriculum in health classes.
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Re: Men

Postby Avon Barksdale » Tue Oct 20, 2020 9:59 am

ArchieG wrote:I’m male, middle aged, have suffered with depression, suicidal thoughts, brought on by relationship breakdown and homelessness, and I would absolutely never discuss it with anyone face to face. I say it here anonymously.


I'm male, middle aged and have also suffered with depression and active suicidal thoughts brought on by the death of my parents.

I discussed it with my wife (and a good friend who has also suffered with it.) I promised my wife I would go to counselling if I didn't manage to deal with it with her support. Looking back on it now I am out the other side I wish I had gone to counselling to ease the burden on my wife but I can barely make myself go to the GP let alone that.

This is an incredibly important issue.
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Re: Men

Postby ArchieG » Tue Oct 20, 2020 10:02 am

Avon Barksdale wrote:
ArchieG wrote:I’m male, middle aged, have suffered with depression, suicidal thoughts, brought on by relationship breakdown and homelessness, and I would absolutely never discuss it with anyone face to face. I say it here anonymously.


I'm male, middle aged and have also suffered with depression and active suicidal thoughts brought on by the death of my parents.

I discussed it with my wife (and a good friend who has also suffered with it.) I promised my wife I would go to counselling if I didn't manage to deal with it with her support. Looking back on it now I am out the other side I wish I had gone to counselling to ease the burden on my wife but I can barely make myself go to the GP let alone that.

This is an incredibly important issue.

It as splitting with my partner that brought mine on. She also poisoned the well with our mutual friends. Not that I would have talked to any of them anyway.
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Re: Men

Postby Avon Barksdale » Tue Oct 20, 2020 10:05 am

ArchieG wrote:
Avon Barksdale wrote:
ArchieG wrote:I’m male, middle aged, have suffered with depression, suicidal thoughts, brought on by relationship breakdown and homelessness, and I would absolutely never discuss it with anyone face to face. I say it here anonymously.


I'm male, middle aged and have also suffered with depression and active suicidal thoughts brought on by the death of my parents.

I discussed it with my wife (and a good friend who has also suffered with it.) I promised my wife I would go to counselling if I didn't manage to deal with it with her support. Looking back on it now I am out the other side I wish I had gone to counselling to ease the burden on my wife but I can barely make myself go to the GP let alone that.

This is an incredibly important issue.

It as splitting with my partner that brought mine on. She also poisoned the well with our mutual friends. Not that I would have talked to any of them anyway.


Common scenario mate. Women tend to be much better at maintaining support networks of friends which buffers the emotional trauma of a break up and men withdraw and become isolated.
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Re: Men

Postby Avon Barksdale » Tue Oct 20, 2020 10:11 am

I know of two young men (under the age of 25 years) who have taken their own lives from my wider social circle this year alone.

They have, to my knowledge, supportive families and had a world of opportunity before them.

Now they are gone and their families are in pieces.
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Re: Men

Postby ArchieG » Tue Oct 20, 2020 10:12 am

Avon Barksdale wrote:
ArchieG wrote:
Avon Barksdale wrote:
ArchieG wrote:I’m male, middle aged, have suffered with depression, suicidal thoughts, brought on by relationship breakdown and homelessness, and I would absolutely never discuss it with anyone face to face. I say it here anonymously.


I'm male, middle aged and have also suffered with depression and active suicidal thoughts brought on by the death of my parents.

I discussed it with my wife (and a good friend who has also suffered with it.) I promised my wife I would go to counselling if I didn't manage to deal with it with her support. Looking back on it now I am out the other side I wish I had gone to counselling to ease the burden on my wife but I can barely make myself go to the GP let alone that.

This is an incredibly important issue.

It as splitting with my partner that brought mine on. She also poisoned the well with our mutual friends. Not that I would have talked to any of them anyway.


Common scenario mate. Women tend to be much better at maintaining support networks of friends which buffers the emotional trauma of a break up and men withdraw and become isolated.

Definitely. In my case, she had control of the finances, and my employment ( Her father’s firm). We fell out over exactly that, and she exercised her prerogatives, which left me in a bit of a pickle. It was pretty shit for quite a while.
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Re: Men

Postby Avon Barksdale » Tue Oct 20, 2020 10:16 am

ArchieG wrote:
Avon Barksdale wrote:
ArchieG wrote:
Avon Barksdale wrote:
ArchieG wrote:I’m male, middle aged, have suffered with depression, suicidal thoughts, brought on by relationship breakdown and homelessness, and I would absolutely never discuss it with anyone face to face. I say it here anonymously.


I'm male, middle aged and have also suffered with depression and active suicidal thoughts brought on by the death of my parents.

I discussed it with my wife (and a good friend who has also suffered with it.) I promised my wife I would go to counselling if I didn't manage to deal with it with her support. Looking back on it now I am out the other side I wish I had gone to counselling to ease the burden on my wife but I can barely make myself go to the GP let alone that.

This is an incredibly important issue.

It as splitting with my partner that brought mine on. She also poisoned the well with our mutual friends. Not that I would have talked to any of them anyway.


Common scenario mate. Women tend to be much better at maintaining support networks of friends which buffers the emotional trauma of a break up and men withdraw and become isolated.

Definitely. In my case, she had control of the finances, and my employment ( Her father’s firm). We fell out over exactly that, and she exercised her prerogatives, which left me in a bit of a pickle. It was pretty shit for quite a while.


Sounds bloody awful.

The loss of employment thing and the respect that being in a stable job brings can be very difficult. I think the need/desire to be a protector and a provider still runs very deep for lots of men so when that gets taken away it can leave us with feelings of worthlessness and deep seated despair.
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Re: Men

Postby Guest » Tue Oct 20, 2020 12:39 pm

Has anyone heard of the term anomie?
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Re: Men

Postby ArchieG » Tue Oct 20, 2020 2:32 pm

Guest wrote:Has anyone heard of the term anomie?

Yes. Though the term would be used to describe a totally different type of suicide than what we are discussing. It described bes the type of societal detachment found in extremist behaviour, not depression.
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Re: Men

Postby Guest » Tue Oct 20, 2020 7:13 pm

This is a very serious issue and having experienced the suicide of a good friend of a good friend it was truly heartbreaking and the effect on his family was horrendous.
Good thread Holly.
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Re: Men

Postby Lady Murasaki » Wed Oct 21, 2020 9:54 am

.SF. wrote:
Holly wrote:
.SF. wrote:It's not gender-specific.



What do you mean? Depression and mental health? Of course it isn't but this thread is about the men species. I was just watching a program about men's mental health and they said men are more prone to suicide than women.


That is probably misleading - a bit of research will reveal that women attempt suicide more frequently than men, but with a lower rate of success due to typical methods used.


This is true. I agree the program Holly was watching was misleading but they were possibly trying to highlight the need to recognise Male mental health issues not downplay female issues.

There are few grown adults that haven’t, at some point, considered suicide.
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Re: Men

Postby Bessie » Wed Oct 21, 2020 10:17 am

Holly wrote:
Toke 'n' gesture wrote:
.SF. wrote:
Holly wrote:
.SF. wrote:It's not gender-specific.



What do you mean? Depression and mental health? Of course it isn't but this thread is about the men species. I was just watching a program about men's mental health and they said men are more prone to suicide than women.


That is probably misleading - a bit of research will reveal that women attempt suicide more frequently than men, but with a lower rate of success due to typical methods used.



Although it's true what you say, this thread isn't about who attempts it the most, it's about male depression and suicide, which is higher than in the female population, no matter the 'success' rate of the attempts.


In countries around the world, women are more likely to be diagnosed with depression and to attempt suicide. So why is the male suicide rate still several times higher than female?


https://www.bbc.com/future/article/2019 ... than-women

My cousin (male) committed suicide about 20 years ago, we were still teenagers then and very close. We grew up together, he was such a fantastic person. I had no idea he was suffering, he never told anyone. Then one day out of the blue my mum had a phone call to tell us he'd died by suicide. I was devastated, bereft. It brought on a depression of it's own and i found it hard to get past for a long time.

Talking really does help though, and i did lots of it at the time. My mum made sure of it actually. I can't say i've ever really suffered since then though, so i guess i'm quite lucky.


Thank you

It's especially tragic when young people take their life, I wonder why?... has the world become too demanding? Is there really so much pressure that they think life isn't worth living? ...but getting back to males, most women know that trying to get a male talking to you about their feelings is like trying to get blood out of a stone, and that needs to change, the stigma of being seen as weak needs to be addressed a lot more, boys should be taught in school about the importance of opening up.

Agree with this so much. I have a couple of blokes in my life who have depression, one attempted suicide, and they never talked about how they were feeling. I make certain with my lad to encourage him to talk about things as much as his sisters.
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