Have you lost someone close

[Creamola Foam]

Most of us will have lost grandparents or the likes, but I was never that close to mine.

Today however is the 6th anniversary of my mums passing. I only know its 6 years because my sister who was closer to her reminded me. I wouldnt have remembered even that it was today. My sister got really upset because I told her it feels like longer, like she has been missing from my life for more than that. I feel she has missed soooo much. I know she would be happy and proud of all her kids, grandchildren and even great grandchildren.. But is it wrong, weird odd to feel almost like she has never been around, or that she has been gone longer

[Vicky]

Most of us will have lost grandparents or the likes, but I was never that close to mine.

Today however is the 6th anniversary of my mums passing. I only know its 6 years because my sister who was closer to her reminded me. I wouldnt have remembered even that it was today. My sister got really upset because I told her it feels like longer, like she has been missing from my life for more than that. I feel she has missed soooo much. I know she would be happy and proud of all her kids, grandchildren and even great grandchildren.. But is it wrong, weird odd to feel almost like she has never been around, or that she has been gone longer

Sorry to hear about your mum Creamy. Losing one of your parents must be one of the worst things that can happen to someone. I still have both of mine, But they both have a few health problems now and the thought of something happening to either of them is awful.

A woman i was at school with died a few months ago. She was only forty and i keep thinking about her, It's so sad and her husband and children are devastated.

[Creamola Foam]

The younger someone is , the harder it is i think. 40 is young,

Losing a parent is hard, but its the only time I ever felt sorry for my grandad, he had to bury one of his children. That is something i cannot even begin to imagine

[Snuffleupagus]

Most of us will have lost grandparents or the likes, but I was never that close to mine.

Today however is the 6th anniversary of my mums passing. I only know its 6 years because my sister who was closer to her reminded me. I wouldnt have remembered even that it was today. My sister got really upset because I told her it feels like longer, like she has been missing from my life for more than that. I feel she has missed soooo much. I know she would be happy and proud of all her kids, grandchildren and even great grandchildren.. But is it wrong, weird odd to feel almost like she has never been around, or that she has been gone longer

There's nothing wrong/weird/odd about our feelings Creamy, it's how we feel - plus we all deal with grief in our own way, and it's the dealing with it that matters.

Like Vick I've not yet been in your position either and dread even the thought. I have lost grandparents though, and been present. The pain is awful but kinda more acceptable when people are older iykwim.
I lost my ex coming up eight years ago now, in his mid thirties - I've moved on since but that was/still sometimes is, a different kind of pain altogether.

[Vicky]

The younger someone is , the harder it is i think. 40 is young,

Losing a parent is hard, but its the only time I ever felt sorry for my grandad, he had to bury one of his children. That is something i cannot even begin to imagine

No losing a child must be the worst thing that can happen to any parent. My Granny and Granda's first child died when she was only a baby and it was something neither of them ever really got over.

The woman i was at school with that died. Her younger brother was killed about twenty years ago in a car accident. The only one who's left now is the youngest brother, He must be about 35 now. Their parents must devastated beyond words at losing two of their three children.

[Guest]

I have lost both parents and these losses have been the greatest for me personally. I still think about them every day and probably always will. I have nothing but happy memories of them though.

[Trapper John]

Just to flip this one.......my dad is still alive and will be 90 years old in July, my Mum is 86 years old and unable to care for him, so he's in a home........am I awful to think sometimes that he would have been better off passing away before he got to this point? ..... I think he feels that way too.

[Vicky]

Just to flip this one.......my dad is still alive and will be 90 years old in July, my Mum is 86 years old and unable to care for him, so he's in a home........am I awful to think sometimes that he would have been better off passing away before he got to this point? ..... I think he feels that way too.

No my dad said the same about his dad. My Granda didn't recognise anyone in the last year of his life. He had to be washed, dressed and fed by someone, He was also incontinent. My dad said he wished my Granda had died before it had got to that.

[Snuffleupagus]

Just to flip this one.......my dad is still alive and will be 90 years old in July, my Mum is 86 years old and unable to care for him, so he's in a home........am I awful to think sometimes that he would have been better off passing away before he got to this point? ..... I think he feels that way too.

No you're not awful to think like that Tj - my Gran spent her last few years (into her late nineties) in a care home being helped with everything and living in a world of her own, we all thought it was such a shame for her to end her days that way having been such a very capable lady when she was younger, and I know that she thought the same in her more lucid moments.

[blackdahlia5]

Most of us will have lost grandparents or the likes, but I was never that close to mine.

Today however is the 6th anniversary of my mums passing. I only know its 6 years because my sister who was closer to her reminded me. I wouldnt have remembered even that it was today. My sister got really upset because I told her it feels like longer, like she has been missing from my life for more than that. I feel she has missed soooo much. I know she would be happy and proud of all her kids, grandchildren and even great grandchildren.. But is it wrong, weird odd to feel almost like she has never been around, or that she has been gone longer

I don't find that strange at all CF, I only remember my moms demise by adding 10 years and 10 days after 9/11 otherwise I'd just remember it was in September.
I tend to block things out that hurt and I'm pretty sure others do as well

[Creamola Foam]

Just to flip this one.......my dad is still alive and will be 90 years old in July, my Mum is 86 years old and unable to care for him, so he's in a home........am I awful to think sometimes that he would have been better off passing away before he got to this point? ..... I think he feels that way too.

I dont think thats bad at all, we treat animals better sometimes than ourselves. We wont let them suffer , we put them down when their quality of life is poor and yet we will let people suffer

[Stooo]

Losing my dad last summer is something that I'm still trying to come to terms with. I went with him to see the specialist before the op and we were told that it was a fairly routine procedure that had a 5% mortality rate, I suppose that someone has to make the statistics. Watching him die over a matter of hours in ICU that Sunday afternoon is something that will probably never leave my thoughts.

[Claire]

Yes my brother at age 38, my Granny who I adored, my father-in-law and my son's friend at 19.

[Snuffleupagus]

Losing my dad last summer is something that I'm still trying to come to terms with. I went with him to see the specialist before the op and we were told that it was a fairly routine procedure that had a 5% mortality rate, I suppose that someone has to make the statistics. Watching him die over a matter of hours in ICU that Sunday afternoon is something that will probably never leave my thoughts.

That's so sad Stooo, I remember you telling me that he was due an op, sorry to hear that you (all) went through that. x

[Trapper John]

Losing my dad last summer is something that I'm still trying to come to terms with. I went with him to see the specialist before the op and we were told that it was a fairly routine procedure that had a 5% mortality rate, I suppose that someone has to make the statistics. Watching him die over a matter of hours in ICU that Sunday afternoon is something that will probably never leave my thoughts.

Yeah, that must be awful ..... it was the same with my girls mum, being told on the Tuesday that tomorrow's operation would put her well on the road to being able to eat and drink again.....only to be told on the Friday that there was nothing else they could do for her as the cancer had become so aggressive and widespread.

They were devastated then, they still are now.....and whatever I do, I can't ever be their mum.