Xmas Do!

[Wilson]

Have you had one?

Nobody in our place would take on the role of organising ours so it was decided we'd just go to the pub after work. then yesterday people started dropping out of that because they're knackered & had too much to do. In the end we had sausage rolls, crisps in a bowl and a plastic cup of Procsecco in the staff room. I was home by 5pm.

We're generally a cheerful bunch but not today apparently!

What's yours been like?

[McAz]

Oh God, how I hated office dos. Bad food, piss drink, Hi Ho fucking Silver Lining, slobbering women and desperate blokes. Only eclipsed in awfulness by New Year.

[Stooo]

Shudders...

[Jon]

Haven't been to one for years, but the last one I remember they deliberately tried to mix up the seating as much as possible so most of us were sat with people who we only vaguely knew, like a terribly mismatched corporate blind date with no escape. Absolute hell on earth.

[Lady Murasaki]

I’ve never been to a bad Christmas do. But I’m out with some wild friends tomorrow (wild compared to me anyway), so I’ll either end up in prison or a hospital.

It was nice knowing you all. X.

[Wilson]

Haven't been to one for years, but the last one I remember they deliberately tried to mix up the seating as much as possible so most of us were sat with people who we only vaguely knew, like a terribly mismatched corporate blind date with no escape. Absolute hell on earth.

Ooh not good.
I've experienced a few times, that awful moment when you walk in and the only free seat is next to the boss.
I'm glad nobody wanted one in our place.

[Cactus Jack]

I remember an anecdote by comedian Arthur Smith that bears repeating.

At a corporate 'do' where Smith got the gig he was pretty much on automatic pilot when he picked on a member of the audience, pulled him onto the stage and asked him what he thought of the CEO - whose name Smith dutifully supplied.

This was pretty much standard fayre and it was usually understood that the audience member, from the front row which was full of high executives and corporate Yes-men, would know to say something along the lines of 'great bloke, inspirational, happy to work for him yada yada.' Unfortunately the person Smith picked on had consumed one too many and answered
"He's a C**t"

Ten minutes later the same man was sat on the stairs of the stage having just been dismissed on the spot for gross misconduct - and because the Christmas party entertainment was being recorded for an in house VHS - that's how long ago it was - the poor sucker really had absolutely no defence.

The moral - If you're at the works Christmas party you're still at work

[art0hur0moh]

I’ve never been to a bad Christmas do. But I’m out with some wild friends tomorrow (wild compared to me anyway), so I’ll either end up in prison or a hospital.

It was nice knowing you all. X.

You need badge number, name and rank. get a picture of a Police officer in full uniform, and practice Your inebriated response. and don't forget to phone police hq to verify their identities. as for hospital, there have been a few occasions I should have gone but never did. so I do encourage hospital sometimes the slightest of things can seriously disrupt future endeavors. though to not walk off the field without a memento is just not cricket. have a Good one LM.

[art0hur0moh]

I remember an anecdote by comedian Arthur Smith that bears repeating.

At a corporate 'do' where Smith got the gig he was pretty much on automatic pilot when he picked on a member of the audience, pulled him onto the stage and asked him what he thought of the CEO - whose name Smith dutifully supplied.

This was pretty much standard fayre and it was usually understood that the audience member, from the front row which was full of high executives and corporate Yes-men, would know to say something along the lines of 'great bloke, inspirational, happy to work for him yada yada.' Unfortunately the person Smith picked on had consumed one too many and answered
"He's a C**t"

Ten minutes later the same man was sat on the stairs of the stage having just been dismissed on the spot for gross misconduct - and because the Christmas party entertainment was being recorded for an in house VHS - that's how long ago it was - the poor sucker really had absolutely no defence.

The moral - If you're at the works Christmas party you're still at work

the operative word is "party"! and why People feel the need to give them Selves brain, and liver damage doing the same thing they do each week I find hard to fathom?

[jra]

I remember an anecdote by comedian Arthur Smith that bears repeating.

At a corporate 'do' where Smith got the gig he was pretty much on automatic pilot when he picked on a member of the audience, pulled him onto the stage and asked him what he thought of the CEO - whose name Smith dutifully supplied.

This was pretty much standard fayre and it was usually understood that the audience member, from the front row which was full of high executives and corporate Yes-men, would know to say something along the lines of 'great bloke, inspirational, happy to work for him yada yada.' Unfortunately the person Smith picked on had consumed one too many and answered
"He's a C**t"

Ten minutes later the same man was sat on the stairs of the stage having just been dismissed on the spot for gross misconduct - and because the Christmas party entertainment was being recorded for an in house VHS - that's how long ago it was - the poor sucker really had absolutely no defence.

The moral - If you're at the works Christmas party you're still at work

That doesn't sound much like a Christmas party. More like a boring conference meeting, where comas are on the house.

[jra]

Have you had one?

Nobody in our place would take on the role of organising ours so it was decided we'd just go to the pub after work. then yesterday people started dropping out of that because they're knackered & had too much to do. In the end we had sausage rolls, crisps in a bowl and a plastic cup of Procsecco in the staff room. I was home by 5pm.

We're generally a cheerful bunch but not today apparently!

What's yours been like?

Most companies are too stingy to put on anything too decent, so you basically ended up with a pub lunch, a bit more to drink and it's nearer to Christmas.

The best Christmas present would be to increase everybody's salaries by at least 5%, as if that is likely to happen.

[Lady Murasaki]

I’ve never been to a bad Christmas do. But I’m out with some wild friends tomorrow (wild compared to me anyway), so I’ll either end up in prison or a hospital.

It was nice knowing you all. X.

You need badge number, name and rank. get a picture of a Police officer in full uniform, and practice Your inebriated response. and don't forget to phone police hq to verify their identities. as for hospital, there have been a few occasions I should have gone but never did. so I do encourage hospital sometimes the slightest of things can seriously disrupt future endeavors. though to not walk off the field without a memento is just not cricket. have a Good one LM.

I survived, just. My feet are annoyed at me for wearing heels though.
Great night.

[art0hur0moh]

I’ve never been to a bad Christmas do. But I’m out with some wild friends tomorrow (wild compared to me anyway), so I’ll either end up in prison or a hospital.

It was nice knowing you all. X.

You need badge number, name and rank. get a picture of a Police officer in full uniform, and practice Your inebriated response. and don't forget to phone police hq to verify their identities. as for hospital, there have been a few occasions I should have gone but never did. so I do encourage hospital sometimes the slightest of things can seriously disrupt future endeavors. though to not walk off the field without a memento is just not cricket. have a Good one LM.

I survived, just. My feet are annoyed at me for wearing heels though.
Great night.

so that's why Women wear heels. self-inflicted suffering so no external influence causes injury? to think, a few hundred years ago it was Men who wore heels.
I had an excellent evening with Daughter. got to get some more decorations today. got those hooks that screw into wood, so I have a few left to put on the ceiling. and maybe a door frame or two? I am saving the crackers to make the chain hingys instead of buying tinsel hingys. thin long chains, I am looking forward to it

[Lady Murasaki]

I was forced to wear the heels. It was a warmish evening for December so just as well I didn’t wear my boots.
You’re only just putting decs up now art? Don’t damage your walls/furniture, use those sticky hook thingys.

[McAz]

...If you're at the works Christmas party you're still at work

How very true - I've known careers made and broken at Xmas dos.