STICKY FOR JOKES

[common sense]

Woman stole lawnmower, hot tub and jet wash from B&Q"

She came clean after she was grassed up.

[common sense]

There was a young man named Giles
Who loved to walk for miles
Until he fell down a drain
And damaged his brain
And now he dribbles when he smiles

[common sense]

Was at a footy match yesterday. After the 90 minutes was up, they played "Hit me with your rhythm stick" & "What a waste" over the tannoy, even before the ref had blown his whistle.
Turns out it was a period of Ian Dury time.

[common sense]

That tweet Kent police sent out using a picture from Top Gun to celebrate identifying a woman's dead daughter was absolutely disgusting

It's so bad it took my breath away

[common sense]

Before going on a date last week my mate said to me, "If you have sex just make sure you give her everything that you've got!"

So I did.

Herpes, Gonorrhoea & Covid.

[common sense]

Pete and Mary were walking home from the pub when Mary says: "I need a piss" and goes behind a bush and drops her knickers.
Feeling horny Pete puts his hand through the bush and feels something dangling between Mary's legs...He says "have you changed sex?"
Mary says "no, I have changed my mind, I'm having a shit!"

[common sense]

A Sunderland lass drops her skirt off at the dry cleaners. The lady behind the counter says, Thank you, come again

The Sunderland lass replies, No, it's toothpaste this time you nosey bitch

[common sense]

Finally, after all these years of wishing and hoping, at the end of the England v Columbia game some of the players swapped shirts, the bastards must have known I was watching ‘cos they were wearing bras underneath.

[common sense]

Mother nature has finally got around to avenging those bastards for putting pineapple on pizza

[common sense]

Was gonna post a joke about Dwarfs but decided against it.

Sometimes you just have to be the bigger person.

[common sense]

Martina Navratilova has admitted that she did consider a sex change.

New balls please.

[common sense]

I've just opened up a wholesalers in the Middle East

Dubai?

Yes and sell.

[common sense]

Awful to see more violence in the news again today

Israel?

Yes very real unfortunately

[common sense]

Shagged a sheep farmer from West London the other night.

Shepherds Bush?

No, it was shaven actually.

[common sense]

My mum's a lesbian and she's learning to speak the Irish language.

Gaelic?

She probably does.