Nation To Wait For More Facts On Texas Shooting Before Doing Absolutely Nothing About It
WASHINGTON—In the wake of a shooting in Sutherland Springs, TX that left at least 26 people dead and 20 wounded, the nation declared its intent Monday to wait for more facts on the mass slaughter before doing absolutely nothing about it. “We don’t want to jump to conclusions and get the facts wrong before we start ignoring it completely,” said Enid, OK resident Roger Benson, echoing the sentiments of 324 million other Americans who added they weren’t willing to do nothing whatsoever to address the country’s mass shooting epidemic until they learned more about the killer, including his possible connection to the church and his mental health background. “People have been speculating on social media, but that doesn’t do us any good unless we know the truth about his family life, and how and why he was able to acquire an assault weapon—otherwise, there’s just no way to neglect to address this shooting in the larger context of gun violence in America. We all need to take a deep breath, gather as much information as we can, and then sit with our hands folded indefinitely.” At press time, the nation conceded that even if a couple facts remained unknown, that shouldn’t stand in way of a concerted effort to simply wait for the next bloodbath.
https://www.theonion.com/nation-to-wait ... 1820186609
wutang wrote:Nation To Wait For More Facts On Texas Shooting Before Doing Absolutely Nothing About It
WASHINGTON—In the wake of a shooting in Sutherland Springs, TX that left at least 26 people dead and 20 wounded, the nation declared its intent Monday to wait for more facts on the mass slaughter before doing absolutely nothing about it. “We don’t want to jump to conclusions and get the facts wrong before we start ignoring it completely,” said Enid, OK resident Roger Benson, echoing the sentiments of 324 million other Americans who added they weren’t willing to do nothing whatsoever to address the country’s mass shooting epidemic until they learned more about the killer, including his possible connection to the church and his mental health background. “People have been speculating on social media, but that doesn’t do us any good unless we know the truth about his family life, and how and why he was able to acquire an assault weapon—otherwise, there’s just no way to neglect to address this shooting in the larger context of gun violence in America. We all need to take a deep breath, gather as much information as we can, and then sit with our hands folded indefinitely.” At press time, the nation conceded that even if a couple facts remained unknown, that shouldn’t stand in way of a concerted effort to simply wait for the next bloodbath.
https://www.theonion.com/nation-to-wait ... 1820186609
‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
SUTHERLAND SPRINGS, TX—In the hours following a violent rampage in Texas in which a lone attacker killed 27 individuals and seriously injured several others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Sunday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place. “This was a terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them,” said Kansas resident Britt Mulvanos, echoing sentiments expressed by tens of millions of individuals who reside in a nation where over half of the world’s deadliest mass shootings have occurred in the past 50 years and whose citizens are 20 times more likely to die of gun violence than those of other developed nations. “It’s a shame, but what can we do? There really wasn’t anything that was going to keep this individual from snapping and killing a lot of people if that’s what they really wanted.” At press time, residents of the only economically advanced nation in the world where roughly two mass shootings have occurred every month for the past eight years were referring to themselves and their situation as “helpless.”
https://www.theonion.com/no-way-to-prev ... 1820163660
Rolluplostinspace wrote:What is it with Americans .... have a nice day and then bang bang bang!
Guest wrote:Do you really need to start a new thread every time this happens?
Why not keep it all to one mass shooting thread, This is after all an English forum, most of the posters in this thread hate America and hate Americans. I'd of thought you'd be over the moon that they were killing each other off?
Guest wrote:Rolluplostinspace wrote:What is it with Americans .... have a nice day and then bang bang bang!
What is it with idiots who think all yanks are nice?
Rolluplostinspace wrote:Guest wrote:Rolluplostinspace wrote:What is it with Americans .... have a nice day and then bang bang bang!
What is it with idiots who think all yanks are nice?
Seems there's lot of Yanks who don't like Yanks ......
Maddog wrote:Rolluplostinspace wrote:Guest wrote:Rolluplostinspace wrote:What is it with Americans .... have a nice day and then bang bang bang!
What is it with idiots who think all yanks are nice?
Seems there's lot of Yanks who don't like Yanks ......
I don't like a lot of them myself, but I've managed to refrain from shooting any of them so far.
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