Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Nice threads, no trolling please.
Forum rules
Comments are the responsibility of the poster

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby rollup » Mon Sep 02, 2013 12:35 am

Invitation to the blues

Well she's up against the register
With an apron and a spatula
With yesterday's deliveries
And the tickets for the bachelors
She's a moving violation
From her conk down to her shoes
But it's just an invitation to the blues

And you feel just like Cagney
She looks like Rita Hayworth
At the counter of the
Schwab's drug store
You wonder if she might be single
She's a loner and likes to mingle
Got to be patient and pick up a clue

She says, "How you gonna like 'em
Over medium or scrambled?
You say "Anyway's the only way", be careful not to gamble
On a guy with a suitcase
And a ticket gettin' out of here
In a tired bus station and an old pair of shoes
But it ain't nothin' but an invitation to the blues

But you can't take your eyes off her get another cup of java
And it's just the way she pours it for you
Joking with the customers mercy mercy Mr. Percy
There ain't nothin' back in Jersey
But a broken-down jalopy of a man I left behind
And a dream that I was chasin' and a battle with booze
And an open invitation to the blues

But she's had a sugar daddy and a candy apple caddy
And a bank account and everything accustom to the finer things
He probably left her for a socialite
And he didn't love her except at night
And then he's drunk and never even told her that he cared
So they took the registration and the car-keys and her shoes
And left her with an invitation to the blues

'Cause there's a Continental Trailways leavin'
Local bus tonight, good evenin'
You can have my seat, I'm stickin' 'round here for a while
Get me a room at the squire the fillin' station's hirin'
And I can eat here every night what the hell have I got to lose
Got a crazy sensation go or stay and I've got to choose
And I'll accept your invitation to the blues
User avatar
rollup
 
Posts: 16661
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2013 5:14 pm
Location: Wales and 49.0000° N, 6.0000° E

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby VILS » Mon Sep 02, 2013 1:16 pm

Nice one J, thanks for that.

User avatar
VILS
 
Posts: 5969
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:43 pm

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby rollup » Tue Sep 03, 2013 12:10 am

One of us cannot be wrong.

I lit a thin green candle to make you jealous of me,
But the room just filled up with mosquitoes, they heard that my body was free
Then I took the dust of a long sleepless night and I put it in your little shoe
And then I confess that I tortured the dress that you wore for the world to look through

I showed my heart to the doctor. He said I'd just have to quit
Then he wrote himself a prescription, your name was mentioned in it
Then he locked himself in a library shelf with the details of our honeymoon
And I hear from the nurse that he's gotten much worse and his practice is all in a ruin

I heard of a saint who had loved you, I studied all night in his school
He taught that the duty of lovers is to tarnish the golden rule
And just when I was sure that his teachings were pure he drowned himself in the pool
His body is gone but back here on the lawn his spirit continues to drool

An Eskimo showed me a movie he'd recently taken of you
The poor man could hardly stop shivering, his lips and his fingers were blue
I suppose that he froze when the wind tore off your clothes
And I guess he just never got warm, but you stand there so nice in your blizzard of ice
Oh please let me come into your storm.

L Cohen.
User avatar
rollup
 
Posts: 16661
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2013 5:14 pm
Location: Wales and 49.0000° N, 6.0000° E

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby robbee » Wed Sep 04, 2013 2:28 am

Curs'd be the man, the poorest wretch in life,
The crouching vassal to a tyrant wife!
Who has no will but by her high permission,
Who has not sixpence but in her possession;
Who must to her, his dear friend's secrets tell,
Who dreads a curtain lecture worse than hell.
Were such the wife had fallen to my part,
I'd break her spirit or I'd break her heart;
I'd charm her with the magic of a switch,
I'd kiss her maids, and kick the perverse bitch.


Robert Burns
User avatar
robbee
 

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby VILS » Thu Sep 05, 2013 6:02 pm

Image

Away from the herd.
User avatar
VILS
 
Posts: 5969
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:43 pm

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby Claire » Thu Sep 05, 2013 6:04 pm

Yes my granny is a cripple in Nashville, friends
This story I tell you is true
One day, she went out on her wheelchair
Never knowin' it had a loose screw
Well a wheel came off of that wheelchair, friends
And on three wheels it trundled away
And it trundled right over the edge of a cliff
In an old sea-side town, far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Now the boy who was pushin the wheelchair
Was a little blind orphan called Joe
And he said "Oh where is my granny?"
"And where did that damn wheelchair go?"
Well he ran off to search for that wheelchair, friends
But his sightless eyes led him astray
And he ran right over the edge of the cliff
In that old sea-side town, far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Well somebody sent for a doctor
And an ambulance too, it was called
And the people who lived in the neighbourhood
Stood around and they cried, how they bawled
Well the doctor and the ambulance came rushing, friends
They were rushing from two different ways
And they crashed with a biff, and shot over the cliff
In that old sea-side town, far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Well they sent for brave father Maloney
To prey for the poor soles they pose
And he said "Well now that we're gathered here good people"
"Well we might as well pray I suppose!"
But, too many people had gathered
And the edge of the cliff gave way
And they dropped with a yell
They all shot straight to hell
In that old, sea-side town, so terribly far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Lol :pmsl:
Last edited by Claire on Thu Sep 05, 2013 6:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Claire
 
Posts: 26346
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:04 pm

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby Claire » Thu Sep 05, 2013 6:10 pm

User avatar
Claire
 
Posts: 26346
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:04 pm

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby Blunder » Sat Sep 07, 2013 11:50 am

Claire wrote:Yes my granny is a cripple in Nashville, friends
This story I tell you is true
One day, she went out on her wheelchair
Never knowin' it had a loose screw
Well a wheel came off of that wheelchair, friends
And on three wheels it trundled away
And it trundled right over the edge of a cliff
In an old sea-side town, far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Now the boy who was pushin the wheelchair
Was a little blind orphan called Joe
And he said "Oh where is my granny?"
"And where did that damn wheelchair go?"
Well he ran off to search for that wheelchair, friends
But his sightless eyes led him astray
And he ran right over the edge of the cliff
In that old sea-side town, far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Well somebody sent for a doctor
And an ambulance too, it was called
And the people who lived in the neighbourhood
Stood around and they cried, how they bawled
Well the doctor and the ambulance came rushing, friends
They were rushing from two different ways
And they crashed with a biff, and shot over the cliff
In that old sea-side town, far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Well they sent for brave father Maloney
To prey for the poor soles they pose
And he said "Well now that we're gathered here good people"
"Well we might as well pray I suppose!"
But, too many people had gathered
And the edge of the cliff gave way
And they dropped with a yell
They all shot straight to hell
In that old, sea-side town, so terribly far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Lol :pmsl:


:kinell: Prey haha,,, or should it read ''Prey on the poor''?
User avatar
Blunder
 
Posts: 744
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:13 pm

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby Claire » Sat Sep 07, 2013 12:54 pm

Blunder wrote:
Claire wrote:Yes my granny is a cripple in Nashville, friends
This story I tell you is true
One day, she went out on her wheelchair
Never knowin' it had a loose screw
Well a wheel came off of that wheelchair, friends
And on three wheels it trundled away
And it trundled right over the edge of a cliff
In an old sea-side town, far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Now the boy who was pushin the wheelchair
Was a little blind orphan called Joe
And he said "Oh where is my granny?"
"And where did that damn wheelchair go?"
Well he ran off to search for that wheelchair, friends
But his sightless eyes led him astray
And he ran right over the edge of the cliff
In that old sea-side town, far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Well somebody sent for a doctor
And an ambulance too, it was called
And the people who lived in the neighbourhood
Stood around and they cried, how they bawled
Well the doctor and the ambulance came rushing, friends
They were rushing from two different ways
And they crashed with a biff, and shot over the cliff
In that old sea-side town, far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Well they sent for brave father Maloney
To prey for the poor soles they pose
And he said "Well now that we're gathered here good people"
"Well we might as well pray I suppose!"
But, too many people had gathered
And the edge of the cliff gave way
And they dropped with a yell
They all shot straight to hell
In that old, sea-side town, so terribly far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Lol :pmsl:


:kinell: Prey haha,,, or should it read ''Prey on the poor''?


It should be pray and souls. I copied and pasted it and by the time I saw the spelling mistakes I was too late to edit. :mrgreen:
User avatar
Claire
 
Posts: 26346
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2010 7:04 pm

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby Blunder » Sat Sep 07, 2013 1:15 pm

Claire wrote:
Blunder wrote:
Claire wrote:Yes my granny is a cripple in Nashville, friends
This story I tell you is true
One day, she went out on her wheelchair
Never knowin' it had a loose screw
Well a wheel came off of that wheelchair, friends
And on three wheels it trundled away
And it trundled right over the edge of a cliff
In an old sea-side town, far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Now the boy who was pushin the wheelchair
Was a little blind orphan called Joe
And he said "Oh where is my granny?"
"And where did that damn wheelchair go?"
Well he ran off to search for that wheelchair, friends
But his sightless eyes led him astray
And he ran right over the edge of the cliff
In that old sea-side town, far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Well somebody sent for a doctor
And an ambulance too, it was called
And the people who lived in the neighbourhood
Stood around and they cried, how they bawled
Well the doctor and the ambulance came rushing, friends
They were rushing from two different ways
And they crashed with a biff, and shot over the cliff
In that old sea-side town, far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Well they sent for brave father Maloney
To prey for the poor soles they pose
And he said "Well now that we're gathered here good people"
"Well we might as well pray I suppose!"
But, too many people had gathered
And the edge of the cliff gave way
And they dropped with a yell
They all shot straight to hell
In that old, sea-side town, so terribly far away

Sing, a-dee-oo-leh-hee yeh-hee oh-leh-hee-oooh

Lol :pmsl:


:kinell: Prey haha,,, or should it read ''Prey on the poor''?


It should be pray and souls. I copied and pasted it and by the time I saw the spelling mistakes I was too late to edit. :mrgreen:


I'm pleased you didn't edit it Claire, as it made me chuckle. And according to Big Yin, its ''Praying for the poor'', as I highlighted in bold. But, I think 'my' version is more accurate :wink:

But,,, what this does prove,, if nothing else,, is that someone actually read you post in full.
User avatar
Blunder
 
Posts: 744
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 12:13 pm

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby garymac » Mon Jul 29, 2019 1:35 pm

Claire wrote:
In an underground Garrett not far from Dundee
Just to be different I fell up a tree
This Winter, last summer, the year before last
A man with a hammer sat breaking his fast

Tra la la, tra la lee, who wid yi, who wid yi like to be me?

One day I went walking with my brother Jim
When somebody threw a tomato at him
Tomatoes are juicy and don't break the skin
But the big one that hit him was inside a tin

Tra la la etc.



Hello Claire,
Thanks so much for posting this wee song. I was doing an internet search for a song my Grandpa used to sing and it's very close to the song in your post. Perhaps a Glasgow version...

In an underground garrett up three flights for stairs,
Next door to the man who grows apples and pears,
Dwelt a pretty young maiden wi’ teeth like a rose,
Who couldnae stop sneezin’ fur corns in her nose.
Hod yer row, hod yer row,
Now hoo wid ye, hoo wid ye like tae be me?

(this is purely from memory so the words may not be 100% accurate)
User avatar
garymac
 

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby art0hur0moh » Wed Dec 25, 2019 10:53 pm

"Look before, or you will find yourself behind."

"Pain makes man think, thinking makes man wise, and wisdom makes life endurable."
User avatar
art0hur0moh
 
Posts: 7896
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2011 9:15 am

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby art0hur0moh » Sun Mar 14, 2021 7:51 pm

User avatar
art0hur0moh
 
Posts: 7896
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2011 9:15 am

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby Major » Wed Mar 17, 2021 10:22 am

I posted the Naulakha by Kiplinng and it was dumped by someone .
User avatar
Major
 
Posts: 5539
Joined: Thu Oct 22, 2009 10:08 am

Re: Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

Postby drum » Wed Mar 17, 2021 11:10 am

Major Major
let me wager
that your pager
is about to enrage (her)


:mrgreen:
User avatar
drum
 
Posts: 7757
Joined: Wed Nov 10, 2010 5:46 pm
Location: Cill Mheàrnaig, Scotland

PreviousNext

Return to The Sleeping Dogs' Snug

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests